Sticks and stones may still break bones, but words will cause the Internet to be torn asunder.
Welcome back to yet another week of fine sports programming. We are sure there is a breakdown of all that is wonderful and good in the sports world bumping around the interwebz somewhere.
As some of you know, we are far more concerned with those annoying moments we can't seem to let go. Like a horrible song that gets stuck in your head all day until you hear it again, these are the stories we are hoping to exorcise from our noggin.
Two of the best are provided thanks to a couple of loudmouths who really couldn't help themselves, and for that we are grateful.
Feel free to chime in with some stories of your own, or just enjoy what we have here. Keep your arms and legs in the vehicle at all times, y'all.
Shoes, people. These are just shoes.
WBNS-10TV has a report that might astonish some of you with actual sense. You see, shoppers at Eastland Mall in Columbus, Ohio, were so anxious to get a voucher for a pair of the new Air Jordans coming out, they literally broke one of the doors down.
Again, this was to grab a voucher for a pair of shoes they would have the opportunity to buy for $170 the following week.
The shoes don't give the wearer the ability to fly, time travel or even jump higher. Hell, they don't even have that sick Reebok "Pump" technology we loved as kids.
Still, they apparently necessitate shoving, pushing and the breaking down of doors.
For Christmas, the New York Mets received a nice curse for them to enjoy each and every year.
The New York Daily News' Kristie Ackert reports on the latest concerning Daniel Murphy. The most peculiar is his role as Santa Claus for the second time at the Mets' annual holiday party for schoolchildren.
It's peculiar, because doing so has had some awful repercussions on various players. MLB Blogs' Anthony DiComo actually started with Mike Cameron in 2004 and explained how each and every player donning the iconic suit would later suffer from the ongoing curse.
I wouldn't believe it if this were any other team. This being the Mets means I now fully believe in curses, though.
Granted, this video isn't annoying, but it certainly belongs in the pile of unsavory aspects of sport.
A big tip of the hat to SportsGrid's Jake O'Donnell for spotting this harrowing snippet from the much larger movie The Crash Reel.
Many, including myself, are guilty of forgetting that action athletes pay a hefty price for their "extreme" efforts. A good number of them are hurt, and rather badly.
This video, while brief, is a powerful way to remind that there is hardly any safety net for those who enter the fray, whether figurative or literal.
Perhaps we will all appreciate their sacrifice a bit more moving forward.
LeBron James and the Miami Heat took round two in what is sure to be a fantastic four-round regular-season bout between their squad and the Indiana Pacers.
James had 24 points, nine boards and seven assists in the 97-94 win, which is pretty impressive considering he was nursing an ankle injury.
Just don't bring that up to the Pacers' David West, because he was rather incredulous about the whole thing according to the Sun Sentinel's Ira Winderman.
The reporter noted that the Pacers "weren't buying James being physically off." More than that, West stated pointedly, "You guys buy into the hype of him being hurt and all that other stuff. We don't believe that."
Yes, the man with two titles and four MVPs to his name faked an injury to get over in a regular-season game. Sure. Totally. Yup. We completely buy that story, big guy.
According to one radio host, Matt Harvey can rehabilitate, heal and get back to throwing the ball as he did before his injury. However, he better not show up in public having any fun, because that's annoying.
The Big Lead's Jason McIntyre spotted this video featuring WFAN's Joe Benigno going off on Harvey for having the audacity to merely show up at a Knicks game with his girlfriend, model Anne V.
Seriously, that's all he did to garner a rant that featured this:
I got no issue that he's there with this stellar supermodel, this Anne V, cause she's stellar... Harvey's like this mega celebrity. Let's be (real) the guy has basically done nothing...He's barely pitched a year. He's not going to play at all this year because of the Tommy John surgery. Who knows, this guy could turn out to be Mark Fidrych at the end of the day for all I know...And this guy is sitting there at courtside. He's all over this Anne V, God bless ya. But I don't need to see it.
There is a wealth of controversial subjects out there to cover and be annoyed about. Harvey sitting in an expensive seat to watch a horrible basketball team isn't one of them.
Get off your high horse, because you look silly up there.
Let this serve as lesson No. 1,456,789 that not much good comes from rushing the court. Sure, you get to exert all of that pent-up emotion as you corral around your triumphant team, but a lot of bad can happen.
Now, before you ask what could go wrong, let me tell you that there is the obvious opportunity for injury. Oh, you can also cost your team the game.
The Oregonian's Nick Daschel reports some sorrowful students are rather ashamed at the moment, because they rushed the court a second too soon, causing a technical foul to be called.
Hockinson (Wash.) took a 71-70 lead with one second remaining when Alan Haagen hit three throws, the result of being fouled on a 3-point shooting attempt. A handful of Hockinson students, forgetting the game wasn’t finished, ran from the bleachers to about 12 feet onto the floor to celebrate.
Camas’ (Wash.) Jordan Lenard sank both of the free throws and the game was over, all thanks to some eager fans.
Sometimes patience is the best weapon.