Mike Woodson Establishes Curfew for Knicks Before Saturday's Noon Game

Zach BuckleyNational NBA Featured ColumnistDecember 20, 2013

DENVER, CO - NOVEMBER 29: Mike Woodson, Head Coach of the New York Knicks directs his team drives to the basket against the Denver Nuggets on November 29, 2013 at the Pepsi Center in Denver, Colorado. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this Photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2013 NBAE (Photo by Garrett W. Ellwood/NBAE via Getty Images)
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His seat might be a blazing inferno, but give New York Knicks coach Mike Woodson credit for one thing—he definitely knows his franchise.

He knows his city, too, and the all-too-inviting temptations it holds.

So Woodson's doing what he can to protect his players from the potential pitfalls that line the New York City streets. After seeing his team get torn apart in its last two noon home games, he's reportedly going to keep his players holed up in an area hotel on Friday night before Saturday's noon tipoff with the Memphis Grizzlies, via Peter Botte of the New York Daily News.

"Yeah, we’ve had those troubles and you know, we’re going to all get together tonight and huddle together,” Woodson said, via Botte. "I’m not going to let them hang out. We’re going to all get together, ourselves, as a team."

NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 05:  Mike Woodson of the New York Knicks talks with his players during a time out in the second half against the Charlotte Bobcats at Madison Square Garden on November 5, 2013 in New York City.The Charlotte Bobcats defeated the New
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Because obviously crowding a room with Metta World Peace, the Smith Bros. (J.R. and Chris) and Kenyon Martin sounds like a fantastic idea.

What are they going to do all night? A movie marathon? Maybe break out a few board games, or even tell a few ghost stories.

Clearly, that's what this team has been missing. That's the best explanation for New York's woeful 8-17 start. If only Woodson had gone to the Stratego board a few weeks sooner, the Knicks would be making the championship run that owner James Dolan demands.


Well, here's a(nother) sad truth for the league's laughingstock—this card has been played before.

"We’ve done that plenty of times where we stayed at a hotel together, the night before a game," Carmelo Anthony said, via Botte. "Sometimes it helps, sometimes it works. We’ll see about that tomorrow."

NEW YORK, NY - DECEMBER 16:  Carmelo Anthony #7 of the New York Knicks looks on during the second half against the Washington Wizards at Madison Square Garden on December 16, 2013 in New York City. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that
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New York even tried this team bonding thing before the Boston Celtics stopped by for an early visit on Dec. 8. Guess how well that went. The rebuilding Celtics entered Madison Square Garden with a 9-12 mark and left with a 114-73 blowout victory.

Maybe Woodson's movie choice was off the previous night. Maybe he tried to rally the troops with Braveheart but ended up scaring World Peace, losing half his roster to the Sandman before the message kicked in and left the nocturnal J.R. Smith with a warped view of what it means to be a hero:

I guess Woodson is trying at least. It's not like keeping tabs on this group of players sounds like the worst strategy in the world:

Only in New York. A place where the basketball is atrocious, the nightlife is dangerously delightful and the truth is always wonderfully stranger than fiction.