The Top Seven: Sports Personalities Who Need to Call It Quits
I recently saw an article by Mike Florio of PFT.com in which he lists 10 players who need to retire.
While I didn't enjoy it, it got me thinking—which of the major sports personalities should hang it up? This list is open to TV personalities, writers, announcers, radio personalities, and anyone else really.
Some of these guys don't belong on any form of media giving their half-baked opinions on issues about which they're completely clueless, and they're the ones who will be targeted.
For most of these guys, it's not an attack on them personally, but more their take and approach to being a voice in sports.
For others, it's an attack. Sure.
And by the way: Yes, Mike Florio should also hang it up.
Skip Bayless—ESPN's Cold Pizza and 1st and 10
Can't you just imagine the nonsense about to flow from his mouth when this picture was taken?
Bayless has bounced around all over ESPN, popping up in several different places—none of which, by the way, really need him there.
1st and 10 is just an awful show to sit through, even when there's absolutely nothing else on. The only reason I ever watch it is because I'd rather hear bad opinions about sports than good opinions about cooking or gardening.
Bayless has decided that if he simply yells louder than the person sitting across from him, he'll win any argument, even if he's way off base.
The crazy thing about Bayless is that sometimes you find yourself agreeing with what he's saying, but wanting not to because of the way he comes off while giving his opinions.
In the future I see an epic showdown between Bayless and "Prince" James (as Bayless calls him) similar to Jim Rome and Jim, or rather, Chris Everett.
Jim Rome—Jim Rome Is Burning
For some reason I always get excited when I hear, "And now...Jim Rome Is Burning."
Really?!? No, not really. That's the name of his show. Well, that was a disappointment. (Before anyone gets too uppity, I don't want Jim Rome to burn).
Rome will always be known as the guy who pushed Jim Everett to his breaking point and was attacked by him on live TV. Really, this should have been the first sign that the guy is a hack.
Yes, I'm sure that got great ratings because of their little showdown, and the fight just boosted that, but come on. There's a real difference between a reporter getting a reaction, like whoever the guy was to ask Jim Mora if the Colts could make the playoffs, and Jim Rome.
Mora's is funny. Even Mora will laugh at that clip. Jim Everett, however, is not laughing when he watches that clip and several other clips of Rome calling him Chris. I mean, obviously he didn't think it was funny. You know, he attacked him.
Rome seems clueless, especially about the NFL. It's time for that show, and Rome himself, to go.
Even Rome had to fall sometime.
Mark Madden—WXDX-FM Pittsburgh
A former host on ESPN 1250 Radio, Madden had drifted off into obscurity until NFL Network decided they would use him in certain spots for their Top 10 series, therefore thrusting him back into the spotlight.
So I blame them for the idiocy I'm forced to listen to when watching an otherwise wonderful series.
Madden has always been a Pittsburgh homer and doesn't even really try to hide it.
Terry Bradshaw is the best quarterback of all time, Franco Harris is the best running back of all time, Lynn Swann is the best wide receiver of all time, the Steeler defense is the best of all time, and the Steelers should win every Super Bowl or the NFL is rigged.
This man defines the term "blowhard."
He's wrong, very wrong, about nearly everything and had even drawn criticism from other radio personalities because he would accuse players and coaches of different things with little to no evidence.
The man is an embarrassment to journalists everywhere. Whether it's sports or wrestling (Madden was an on-air commentator and now writes about pro wrestling, for those who do not know), the man is an embarrassment.
He's a half-wit who needs to be controversial in order to have listeners.
How does Pittsburgh go from a legend like Myron Cope...to this?
Tony Kornheiser—Monday Night Football
I know Tony has already quit the Monday Night Football team, but he was so bad in the booth that I had to put him on here anyway.
Kornheiser tried to do his job by playing off Mike Tirico and Jaws, but it always came out as a guy who didn't know all that much about football still attempting to be condescending.
One such incident has always stuck out in my mind:
Jaws: "He's so good at keeping his feet underneath him."
TK: "Well Jaws, where else would he keep them?"
This showed his ignorance for a perfectly legitimate saying that Jaws used to describe the fluidity of a running back; I believe it was Adrian Peterson, but I'm not sure anymore.
Kornheiser tried. He gave it his best shot. But I think in the end even he knew he had no business in the broadcast booth.
Stick to PTI, Tony. I almost like that show.
Stephen A. Smith—StephenA.com
When Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless would team up on 1st and 10, it produced the worst sports television that I have ever had the displeasure of seeing.
Like Bayless, Smith has subscribed to the way of thinking that yelling and screaming your opinion will make you right. You will win any argument if you can simply dig deep enough and yell louder than the man across from you.
When he was across from Bayless, it was a shouting match that two 16-year-old girls who showed up at a party wearing the same shoes couldn't dare match.
At this point, most are aware of the fact that I'm a Philly guy. Well, so is Smith, and I still can't stand to listen to him speak for more than two minutes.
Outside of "Hooray Sixers!" I'd really rather not hear it.
Smith is currently unemployed and just running his own blog, but he says that he would like to get into politics and entertainment.
Fine, Stephen—as long as you stay away from sports, I don't really care what you do from there. In fact, I wish you the best of luck in it.
Just no more sports.
Joe Buck—FOX, MLB/NFL Announcer
Joe Buck made a name for himself commentating baseball games on FOX before making the switch to football to fill a vacancy.
Since his arrival, he has annoyed me and other viewers to no end.
Team him up with Cowboy homer Troy Aikman, and you've got one of the worst broadcasting pairs on TV. So, it makes perfect sense that the two are FOX's A-squad.
Buck is the one who made such an awful fuss about Randy Moss' fake mooning of Green Bay Packers fans, when really it was harmless.
Packers fans are known to moon the opposing team's bus, so he faked it at them after he scored a touchdown. Seems funny to me.
Buck threw a hissy fit and made it a national uproar.
For baseball, I usually don't have a problem listening to him. Listening to him call the Phillies win over the Rays for the World Series was bittersweet, but not bad.
Football, on the other hand, is tortuous to listen to when he and Aikman start jabbering on about nothing.
Hang 'em up, Buck.
Michael Strahan—FOX Pregame Show
I love the pregame show. Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long, and Jimmy Johnson are all great. They know what they're talking about and are very good at what they do.
Strahan, on the other hand, is just bad.
He plays off of the other guys, so it almost looks decent, but if you pay attention to Strahan on his own, he offers no sort of analytical opinion at all. He also will just repeat how great the 2007 Giants were.
We get it Strahan, you beat the Pats. We're all very happy for you. Unfortunately, I lied. No one cares anymore. Move on. Either come out of retirement and play or move forward.
He's another guy who can't get past being a homer for the Giants and just comes out sounding ridiculous.
A few years ago, Jimmy Johnson may have been on here for the same reasons, but he's gotten past his love of Dallas and can actually offer some good football points without making it blatantly obvious for whom he's rooting.
The fact that Strahan is getting his own sitcom really put him into this bunch. Jeff Foxworthy should kiss Strahan right now because after a couple episodes, Strahan's sitcom will overtake Foxworthy's as the worst to ever come on TV.
Go away, Strahan. Please?
BONUS: Ed Rendell—Pennsylvania Governor
No, Ed Rendell is not a sports personality. Well, not unless you count his numerous appearances on Comcast SportsNet.
Anyway, sports personality or not, I'm ashamed of myself to have forgotten such a classic fool in the sports world (and the world of politics for that matter)...Ed Rendell.
Pennsylvania's (ahem) beloved Governor.
Yes, the same man who sent a crew of morons to the draft in '99 to boo any pick the Eagles made not named Ricky Williams.
Some enjoy Rendell, and frankly they are fans with whom I would rather not interact at all. The man is a buffoon.
He was a buffoon when he was the mayor of Philadelphia, he's a buffoon as Governor, and he's a buffoon whenever he runs his corrupt mouth about my beloved Philadelphia Eagles.
I call on all Philly fans residing in Pennsylvania to vote against this man. Republican or Democrat is irrelevant.
Just please, please don't make me have to listen to this man talk about the Eagles any longer.