Funniest Athlete Holiday Videos
The holidays are a time for all of us to spread cheer, and that includes athletes.
Even if our favorite teams are terrible, we can all find some peace during the holidays. That's what it's all about: good vibes, selflessness and remembering that there are more important things in life.
Unless you're a Cleveland Browns fan. If you're a Browns fan, you have full permission to be miserable.
Not every team (or player) makes holiday videos, but those who do...it's such a gift.
I present to you the best of the best holiday videos. So, in the spirit of the holidays, even if your team just got blown out by the worst team in the league, this should put you in your happy place, at least for a second.
Honorable Mention: Angry Cleveland Browns Fan
This one wasn't made by an athlete—just a devastated fan—but it's so spectacular that it must be recognized.
It's one of the most tired yet accurate credos in sports: Cleveland fans have it rough. Their teams never win anything. Their superstars leave them in the dust. The Browns keep finding new and exciting ways to lose.
This video was made even before the Browns' heartbreaking loss to the New England Patriots last weekend, so I can only imagine how this guy feels now.
Still, his Christmas compilation effort is spectacular. From "Weeden the Red-Haired QB (The Oldest Rookie of All)" to "Bess Catch the Ball" to "Release Greg Little," this effort is unparalleled. Just like the Browns' futility.
Edmonton Oil Kings
Fans of the Edmonton Oil Kings—or, more accurately, the OK Music Group—can't wait for each and every holiday season to roll around because it means one thing: a new video.
This December, the Oil Kings didn't disappoint.
Does it matter that all of them appear to be tone deaf? No. They really put their heart and soul into this compilation, which features the classics, "Corbett the D-Man," "O Penalty," "Mitch Moroz Is Coming to Town" and "Shutout Night."
Just about a year removed from their Stanley Cup victory, the Chicago Blackhawks elected to keep the good cheer going by releasing "The Chicago Blackhawks Holiday Sing-Along." And really, what could be better than Patricks Kane and Sharp leading you through some of your favorite holiday classics?
"Patrick Sharp is Coming to Town." "Bickell Bells." "My Favorite Hockey Player is Duncan Keith."
Most of the players don't even sing. They just stare at the camera looking confused. But does it matter? Nope.
New York Mets
There hasn't been a ton to be happy about in Mets land over the last few years. The team hasn't posted a winning record since 2008, and no matter how many big-name free agents that the Mets sign or acquire, it just never works.
During the holidays, though, there's no time to think about that. Instead, it's time to let the good vibes flow. And that's what the Mets have done in their 2013 holiday video.
The video, commandeered by David Wright and Matt Harvey, is basically just a bunch of players looking miserable as they butcher "Sleigh Bells."
Except for David Wright. He looks elated.
Missouri's Offensive Line
Miley mania has spread...all the way to Missouri's offensive line.
Obviously, the Tigers are pumped this year. No, they didn't trump Auburn in the SEC title game, but after going 5-7 last year, they're pretty psyched to be 11-2 and headed to the Cotton Bowl.
So the offensive line celebrated by commissioning a Christmas Thursday Vine in which they twerk like there's no tomorrow to Christmas tunes. I bet you never knew how much you wanted to see 250-pound white men twerk.
Not even the Capitals can take their own Christmas video seriously. Then again, how can you take it seriously when Alexander Ovechkin is smirking and ringing bells in your face?
The Capitals' holiday video (click here to see it) is hot off the presses and has to rank as one of the best of the season thus far. Not only do they sing, but the Caps go all-out with the ugly Christmas sweaters (no V-necks, sadly) and even pretend to play instruments.
Apparently no one told them that when you bang your hand against guitar strings, it doesn't really offer the illusion that you're playing it.
There's also Joel Ward on the (inflatable) saxophone and Troy Brouwer wearing a onesie. So, that happened.
Rio Grande Valley Killer Bees
The Rio Grande Killer Bees may not be as renowned as the Chicago Blackhawks, which is befuddling.
With this video, how did they not become overnight sensations?
A couple of years ago, the North American Hockey League team posted their take on "The 12 Days of Christmas," and first off, you have to love their enthusiasm. These guys are into it. And they're not completely tone-deaf, which obviously puts them in a category of their own.
It's a long song. It's an annoying song. But somehow, the amazing Killer Bees give it new life.
Rasheed Wallace and the Detroit Pistons
Here, we come to a classic. An utter classic.
If anyone can get through the first eight seconds of this gem without laughing out loud...well, clearly you have no soul.
All of the 2006-07 Pistons may not have been into this idea. But Rasheed Wallace made up for it. He made up for all of it. No one will convince me that anyone in the world has more holiday spirit than Sheed.
Even when he gives up on the singing part at the 35-second mark, he is still winning. He wins the whole thing.
The Ottawa 67's
The NHL guys ain't got nothin' on the juniors when it comes to holiday videos. The juniors just absolutely own them.
Maybe it's because they're younger, so the holidays still fill them with unparalleled wonder and joy. Maybe it's because they're happier and have so much to look forward to in life. But whatever the case, the NHL bros could learn a thing or two from these juniors in particular.
As they say, "Nothing says Christmas like a little bit of Justin Bieber"—coupled with some caroling junior hockey players wearing Santa beards and Rudolph noses. (Click here to see it.)
Dwight Howard and the 2012 Los Angeles Lakers
The Lakers had very little to celebrate in 2012. From the time they acquired Steve Nash and Dwight Howard, everything was a disaster.
But that didn't stop them from getting into the holiday spirit. Especially Howard, the biggest Grinch of 2012.
You really have to hand it to him, though. He gave this thing his all. He may even give Sheed a run for his money. If you don't care to watch Pau Gasol and Steve Nash fa-la-la-la-la, just skip right to the seven-second mark, the 14-second mark and the 22-second mark to see Superman go full-on Adam Sandler in Bulletproof.
At least Howard did something well in 2012-13!
San Jose Sharks
The San Jose Sharks released a holiday a cappella album in 2010, and while it wasn't quite Straight No Chaser-level, it was darn close.
OK, not really. But it's still hilarious.
What makes it better? "All carols are sung wearing V-neck sweaters and turtlenecks." And you definitely don't want to miss the "vocal stylings" of Patrick Marleau.
Enough with the Christmas carols. Let's hear a little "I Had a Little Dreidel," courtesy of one of the all-stars of holiday videos, Dwight Howard.
This time, Howard commissioned his brand new Rockets teammates to help him out with yet another holiday classic.
It didn't go well. No, really, it literally is the worst rendition of any song you'll ever hear.
Howard attempted to outshine all his comrades once again, but in an interesting turn of events, Aaron Brooks and Greg Smith overshadowed him.
We all know that, for some reason, hockey teams seem to submit the best holiday videos of all. The Phoenix Coyotes are no exception.
Their 2013 effort, "Happy Howlidays," doesn't feature your typical caroling and out-of-tune warbling, but it does showcase a bunch of players creating their own Christmas carol by sending shot after shot at a bell dangling from the goal.
They definitely get an A for effort. And creativity.
There is no reason that the jerseys the NBA plans to roll out on Christmas Day should be celebrated at any time ever. They are foul. But the NBA had to go and give it a try anyway.
Away with the no-sleeves look, the NBA said, and in with the skin-tight muscle shirts with giant logos! Nothing says Christmas like those jerseys.
In order to celebrate the new gear, Kevin Durant, Stephen Curry, James Harden, Steve Nash and more gathered to bring you "Jingle Hoops." All of them shot simultaneously into five hoops with bells dangling from the nets in order to create their own special rendition of "Jingle Bells."
New Orleans Hornets
In 2010, the New Orleans Hornets created their own edition of "The 12 Days of Christmas," and somehow, it is substantially less annoying than any other edition of this song on the planet.
Granted, it's probably because it's only a minute long instead of four, but it's not a terrible effort.
Among the items on the Hornets' "12 Days of Christmas" list were 10 assists per game for Chris Paul, "eight chants for bee-fense" and "seven alley-oops."
Interestingly, none of the players mentioned anything about pelicans.
How could we leave out Chuck?
Charles Barkley is, after all, one of the funniest personalities in sports, whether his humor is intentional or unintentional. His "Funny or Die" Christmas video illustrates that point perfectly.
The greatest thing about Chuck is that he's always willing to poke fun at his own ridiculousness. That means he's OK with sitting on an armchair, wearing a Santa hat and talking to his "friends"—aka cardboard cutouts of Michael Jordan and Patrick Ewing, et al.
You know you want to see what he gives them as gifts.
Most of these holiday videos required some effort on the parts of the players. Many of them incorporated costumes, green screens, subtitles and other bells and whistles.
The 2010 Pittsburgh Steelers were too good for that. They just had a bunch of guys gather around Hines Ward, throw on some Super Bowl-themed Santa hats and bellow "Winter Wonderland" in unison.
That doesn't make it any less funny, though.
The MVP of the video is Ike Taylor, who just kneels in front of the rest of the players, stares blankly at the camera and not even bothers to sing along.
At this point, you've seen plenty of tone-deaf athletes attempt to sing Christmas carols.
Then, there are the 2009 Denver Nuggets.
The 2009 Denver Nuggets do it all. They dance. They sing. They sway. They do jazz hands. They do it all in front of a green screen with fake snow falling all around them.
Then, there is whatever Carmelo Anthony does, which I can't even really describe, so I'll just leave you to be the judge.