Pretend the year is 2008.
You're walking down the street wearing five different "Livestrong" bracelets, listening to that one sick Kevin Rudolf song on your First Generation iPhone—that guy's gonna be a huge rock star someday! Suddenly, by accident, you stumble across what appears to be a time machine. The date is locked and loaded for Dec. 10, 2013.
You step inside. The ground starts shaking. Buttons light up and alarms scream loud, frantic cries. You hold on for dear life, making peace with your gods, sure that this will be the end. Suddenly everything stops. The capsule comes to a halt and the door flies open, the sun shines bright through the crack. You inhale deep and smell your first, toxic breath of 2013 air. You step out and greet the world.
There is time later to stalk your future self and see what your family is up to. You have your priorities in order. You've seen Back to the Future II, after all; you know what the first order of business should be. You run to the nearest computer and start checking sports scores, writing down whatever seems most profitable.
But then you stop. Come again? This team did what? That team moved where? Which guy got fired from—how? The BCS system has been...what!?!?!
How would you react if you read today's college football headlines 1,825 days ago? How would you possibly comprehend? Here's a look at eight things that would knock you off your feet.