We’re less than a week away from the NFL Draft and you can almost taste the excitement. Front offices are spending every waking moment breaking down prospects, Mel Kiper’s carefully combing each hair into place, and Chris Berman is hard at work putting together awkwardly-phrased nicknames that no one else will ever use.
The NFL Draft can be long and tedious and yet, as football fans, we’re drawn to it like a moth to a flame.
But how can we help ourselves? We’re fans. And as fans, we need to know every detail about every player our team is considering drafting. And when our team finally picks an unknown linebacker from Middle Southern Tennessee State, we’re going to need one of ESPN’s 23 draft analysts to breakdown his 40 time and discuss his upside.
Fortunately, there’s a way to make two days of bad jokes and combine highlights a little more enjoyable…
The 2008 NFL Draft Drinking Game
The Rules
-Every time you hear the phrases “on the clock,” “war room” or “character issues”… drink!
-Every time Chris Berman unveils a ridiculous nickname…drink!
-Every time a Chris Berman nickname references a song that’s over 20 years old…drink twice!
-Every time an ESPN analyst confuses Jake and Chris Long…drink!
-Every time Emmitt Smith uses a word that isn’t actually a word…drink!
-Every time someone you’re watching with wonders aloud whether or not Mel Kiper’s hair is real…drink!
-Every time you hear the word “spygate”…drink!
-Every time Jets or Eagles fans boo a pick…drink!
-Every time ESPN shows footage of Jets or Eagles fans booing picks from previous drafts…drink twice!
-If Jets or Eagles fans boo each other…do a shot!
-Every time Chris Mortensen “breaks” a story…drink!
-Every time the analysts point out that Eli Manning won the Super Bowl last year in a tone that indicates they’re having a hard time coming to terms with that fact…drink!
-Every time they show an undrafted player sitting awkwardly in the green room, waiting to hear his name called…drink!
-If the player has a family member or girlfriend by his side consoling him…drink twice!
-If you’re not sure whether or not the consoling party is a family member or a girlfriend…do a shot!
-If an analyst talks about the potential of Bengals WR Chad Johnson getting traded…drink!
-If Chad Johnson actually gets traded…drink twice!
-If your favorite team traded for Chad Johnson…do a shot!
*NOTE: The “Chad Johnson” rules can also be applied to Brian Urlacher, Jeremy Shockey or Pacman Jones.
-Every time someone mentions that Tom Brady was drafted in the sixth round…drink!
-Every time you see a commercial starring Peyton Manning…drink!
-Every time you see a commercial starring Peyton and Eli Manning…drink twice!
-Every time you see a commercial starring the whole Manning family in it…do a shot!
Bottoms up NFL fans! And you're welcome.
14 comments Last one added about 1 year ago — Leave a Comment
Max Iascone about 1 year ago
funny stuff... despite the fact that you'd be dead within six picks
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Erick Blasco about 1 year ago
This is my kind of game but I'm with Max. Nobody's going to survive the first six picks!
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greg pitsch about 1 year ago
hahaha, I'm printing this out as we speak.. This Saturday will be fun,,,
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Joseph Montag about 1 year ago
All of this is just great. I can't wait to do it. I'm going to go ahead and add any time Mel Kiper's self-proclaimed wisdom is questioned, do a kegstand. Why do we all believe that this guy is the Dali Lama of drafting?
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Rob Maccariello about 1 year ago
"If you think Mel Kiper looks EXACTLY like a vampire... drink!..... blood."
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Erick Blasco about 1 year ago
/facepalm.
I laughed.
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Jacob Bridges about 1 year ago
dude...if you follow these rules, you will be making a for sure trip to the hospital for alcohol poisoning.
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Brandon Heikoop about 1 year ago
I'm definitely using this game while driving to Cleveland for the Yankees-Indians game.
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Tony from NB about 1 year ago
Dave...very good read......but I have one question.
What if I watch the NFL Network instead of ESPN? I feel cheated :)
Additonal Rule:
--If the player has a girlfriend by his side consoling him, AND SHE LOOKS LIKE BRADY QUINN'S GIRLFRIEND…THROW UP!!!!
Enjoy the draft.....
Tony from NB
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kurly salts about 1 year ago
good article, i am always looking for new "games" to keep me drinking instead of studying.
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John Fennelly about 1 year ago
Funny stuff...but I don't need any more prompts to drink
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Nick Phillips about 1 year ago
Genius. As far as I know nobody has come up with any sort of NFL drinking game. How did we not think of this sooner?
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Raider Card Addict about 1 year ago
You could play this game, but there's two problems.
One, you couldn't find the door to leave when the draft is over.
And Two, how do explain why your shoes are a different color when you left.
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Nathaniel Stoltz about 1 year ago
Absolutely brilliant.
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