The annual Slammy Awards are a staple of WWE programming and Monday night on Raw, the company presented the trophies to the top Superstars of 2013.
Who left Seattle with some new hardware to show for their dedication, determination and success in over the last calendar year?
Let's take a look.
Laugh Out Loud Moment of the Year
Presented by: The New Age Outlaws
The Rock Concert (WINNER)*
Vickie Guerrero is fired
Titus O'Neil throws up on the Thanksgiving edition of SmackDown
Jinder Mahal and Great Khali try to charm the Cobra
Given the other options were low points of WWE programming in 2013, The Rock Concert deserves to pick up the win here.
The only people who found Guerrero's firing funny were Triple H and the company's crack creative team. O'Neil throwing up fit in with WWE's insistence that everything involving bodily functions and fluids is hilarious. The snake charming involving Khali, Mahal and Santino Marella was bordering on racial and was funny only if you fall into a specific age range.
Rock dusted off his trademark insult humor and at least managed to entertain the majority of the audience.
*Award accepted by Vickie Guerrero
Doublecross of the Year
Presented by: The Shield
Triple H costs Daniel Bryan the WWE Championship
Mark Henry's retirement speech
Shawn Michaels superkicks Daniel Bryan (WINNER)
Paul Heyman costs CM Punk Money in the Bank
Unlike the first award of the evening, all four nominees here were excellent.
The Triple H turn from SummerSlam probably had the greatest impact on programming in 2013 but the Shawn Michaels Sweet Chin Music to Bryan was something very few expected. The idea of Michaels ever being a heel again was so foreign that him kicking Bryan in the face was shocking.
Heyman's turn on Punk was far from unforeseen given the latter's face turn.
Which brings this writer to the Mark Henry retirement speech, which was not only the best doublecross of the year, it was one of the best moments on WWE television all year. Henry convinced even the most cynical of fans that he was legitimately retiring, only to stun the audience by dropping John Cena with a World's Strongest Slam and earning himself a shot at the WWE title.
A great angle that deserved Slammy Award recognition.
Extreme Moment of the Year
Presented by: Mick Foley
The Shield triple powerbombs Undertaker
Ryback spears John Cena through the set at Extreme Rules
CM Punk canes Paul Heyman (WINNER)
The Wyatts assault Kane at SummerSlam
The least extreme of all four nominees wins here, most likely in an attempt to ensure that CM Punk wins a Slammy this year.
The most extreme in a lackluster field was The Undertaker being powerbombed through the announce table by The Shield. Ryback's spear to Cena is nothing fans have not seen in the past and the Bray Wyatt-Kane match at SummerSlam, and everything that immediately followed it, is better left forgotten.
Punk's attack on Heyman was most impactful and was part of a heavily featured angle and thus, is not a terrible choice.
Fan Participation of the Year
Presented by: Prime Time Players
Let's go Cena/Cena sucks
This one was no contest. Thousands of fans have packed arenas across the country and rained down on Daniel Bryan with "YES!" chants from the beginning of the show to the end. They were the defining aspect of WWE programming throughout 2013.
No other nominee was close.
Insult of the Year
Presented by: The Miz
Zeb Colter's Tea Party insults
Paul Heyman rants on Punk
AJ drops a pipebomb
Stephanie degrades Big Show (WINNER)
Stephanie McMahon has been outstanding as the vindictive, ruthless authority figure and her tirades against Big Show were one of the bright spots in an otherwise uneven storyline.
Colter's "We the People" rants were key to getting Jack Swagger over early in the year as a legit main event threat and helped Antonio Cesaro finally gain traction with the WWE Universe.
AJ Lee's pipebomb was an accurate statement on the state of today's Divas division. Unfortunately, it was forgotten a week later and AJ has been regularly beaten by the Total Divas cast since.
Paul Heyman did some exceptional promo work in 2013 and, collectively, it did a great deal to get his angle with CM Punk over. While there were a few standout lines, no single promo or insult stood head and shoulders above the others.
McMahon's win was deserving but AJ's pipebomb was more memorable and should have won the award.
Diva of the Year
Presented by: Eve Torres
The Bella Twins (WINNER)
The first win that stank of political interference, the Bella Twins captured the Diva of the Year award despite the fact that AJ Lee remained the most over female performer on the roster and Divas champion for the entire second-half of 2013.
The Seattle audience voiced their displeasure for the twin sisters, despite their best attempts to thank the WWE Universe for the victory.
Superstar of the Year
Presented by: Shawn Michaels
Daniel Bryan (WINNER)
Whether it was as tag team champion early in the year or main event babyface later, Bryan has been the most over star on the roster. He has also defeated some of the top stars (John Cena, Randy Orton) and delivered some of the great matches of 2013.
The only real competition was the aforementioned Cena, who won the 2013 Royal Rumble, defeated The Rock for the WWE title at WrestleMania 29 and captured the World Heavyweight Championship from Alberto Del Rio at Hell in a Cell.
Match of the Year
Presented by: Bret "Hitman" Hart
John Cena vs. The Rock (WrestleMania 29) (WINNER)
Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar (Extreme Rules)
The Undertaker vs. CM Punk (WrestleMania 29)
Cody Rhodes and Goldust vs. The Shield (Battleground)
The lack of CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar was curious.
Cena versus Rock winning was a surprise only in that it is nowhere near as good as, say, Punk-Undertaker or Rhodes-Shield but it featured two of the biggest stars in the industry, one of whom came back to put over the top star of this generation, so it was naturally going to get heavy consideration.
Besides, there was no way Cena was leaving Seattle without a Slammy.
Slammys Announced Earlier
"What a Maneuver" Award: Roman Reigns' Spear
Faction of the Year: The Shield
"You've Still Got It" Award: Goldust
Couple of the Year: Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella
Tag Team of the Year: Goldust and Cody Rhodes
Feat of Strength: Mark Henry pulls two trucks with his bare hands
"Say What?" Quote of the Year: Dusty Rhodes, "...I'll be your huckleberry all night long."
Best Dance Moves: The Funkadactyls
Favorite Web Show: The JBL & Cole Show
Best Crowd of the Year: Raw after WrestleMania 29
Catchphrase of the Year: YES! YES! YES!
Breakout Star of the Year: The Shield
"This is Awesome!" Moment of the Year: Big Show knocks out Triple H
Trending Now (Hashtag of the Year): #BelieveInTheShield
Beard of the Year: Daniel Bryan
The 2013 Slammy Awards was a much more subdued show than in years past. There were no long, drawn-out or unbearable skits, nor was there any cringe-worthy dialogue. The winners, for the most part, deserved their awards, including The Shield and Daniel Bryan, who were among the most consistently great elements of WWE this year.
On a side note, the show itself was a terrible go-home show before Sunday's TLC pay-per-view. Luckily, the company has SmackDown on Friday night to put the final touches on the card.
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