BREAKING NEWS! Widespread Steroid Use Among Major League Umpires

Ricky Butts by Correspondent Written on May 29, 2009
ANAHEIM, CA - AUGUST 12:  Umpire Todd Tichenor calls a strike during the game between the Seattle Mariners and the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim at Angel Stadium on August 12, 2008 in Anaheim, California.  The Angels defeated the Mariners 7-3.  (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images) (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
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Major League baseball is currently looking into accusations made by Chicago Cub pitcher Ted Lilly.  Lilly is notorious for throwing with the wrong (left) hand and for having the best flower garden in the bigs.

Ted Lilly pulled a "Craig" (from the movie Friday) moment on May 26, when he was tossed by Bob Davidson.  The good part, is that Ted Lilly didn't even pitch that day. 

He didn't steal cardboard boxes, but he believed that Davidson wasn't concentrating behind the plate.  After watching video of some of the calls in the video room, he hopped the fence in front of the Cubs dugout to let Bob know he needed to concentrate more.

"I thought both ways, he wasn't concentrating and I asked him if he could concentrate a little bit back there, and he told me he could do whatever he wanted," Lilly said. "That got me upset."

I know it is not right for someone on the bench to go on the field and argue, but maybe Lilly had a point.  Steroids do crazy things to your body and mind.  Since every Major League hitter and nearly all pitchers take steroids, I am sure that Ted Lilly recognized the look in Davidson's eyes.

Needless to say, like Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens, Bob Davidson is denying everything.  Going as far as saying that Ted Lilly didn't say anything about concentrating in their argument.

The fun part is this though, Davidson says he can't quote what Lilly said.  Either he isn't very creative in his attempt to frame Lilly for something he didn't say, or the testicular shrinkage has taken its toll on this grown man. 

I mean, isn't he old enough to say things like (WARNING: Extremely explicit content ahead); @#%*, $*%#&, *&%hole, and my favorite, mother*&^%$#. 

Disclaimer - no symbols were harmed in the production of the previous sentence.

If I can say them, than why can't he?

Milton Bradley is a genius.

There is more on page three.

Vote Now! - Author Poll

Are you shocked that umpires use steroids too?

  • No, Bud Selig has been selling it too them.
  • Yes, they were suppose to uphold the integrity of the game.
  • Milton Bradley is a genius. (Not relevant to the question)
vote to see results
Results - Author Poll

Are you shocked that umpires use steroids too?

  • No, Bud Selig has been selling it too them.

    18.8%
  • Yes, they were suppose to uphold the integrity of the game.

    0.0%
  • Milton Bradley is a genius. (Not relevant to the question)

    81.3%
  • Total votes: 16
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written on May 29, 2009 Humor

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