Five Things You Never Wanted To Know About Donovan McNabb

(Photo by Chris McGrath/Getty Images for EAG Sports Management)

Anyone from Philly who’s reading this is probably ready to kill me, because opinions differ and many believe there are far better places to get cheesesteaks. But I have to appeal to the masses, and I’d wager to bet much of the readership couldn’t even tell you what a “whiz with” is, let alone identify Dalessandro’s, Chubbie’s, Chink’s or anywhere else.

So Donovan, which “touristy” cheesesteak is your favorite? Do you like to stay close to the stadium and wait 20 minutes at Tony Luke’s? Perhaps take in South Street while you dine at Jim’s? Or does the glitz and glamour of Pat’s and Geno’s allure to you. Me? I’ll take a whiz with from Pat‘s, please.

Question 3: Action News, NBC 10, or KYW?

Philadelphians love their television news, and for years, Action News has been the market leader. Jim Gardner is an institution. But they’re a little, well, old. I mean, frowny-face clouds on a rainy day? Sure, Cecily Tynan is hot, but she looks like a Romper Room attendant in front of that weather board.

The other two networks are hip and edgy, but can they touch Action News and their iconic theme song? Maybe Donovan likes that. He probably only watches sports highlights, in which case I recommend KYW. I hear their sports producer/blogger is a wonderful guy.

Question 4: Who wins in a fight: Allen Iverson, Eric Lindros, Ryan Howard, or yourself?

Looking at the last generation of Philadelphia sports, these guys are the “faces” of their respective franchises. Sure, two of them are gone, but can YOU name anyone on the Sixers or Flyers who is as popular as A.I. or Lindros?

This would probably look like a WWE event gone haywire. But Howard swings and misses too much and Lindros’ equilibrium is roughly equivalent to Jell-O’s these days, so it comes down to A.I. vs. D-Mac, and I’m taking Iverson. I’ve seen his posse. Dude rolls about 90 deep, and McNabb’s mama and her Chunky Soup ain’t helping. Speaking of which…

Question 5: What’s your favorite flavor of Chunky Soup?

I think this one is self-explanatory. And yes, I know that’s not really his mama. But it reminds me of a good anti-Eagles joke: Why does Donovan McNabb eat his soup out of a mug? Because he chokes around big bowls. Yeah, I don’t find it funny either.

Hopefully you found this funny enough to get to the end. And hopefully my editors found it funny enough to forgive the specious interpretation of the topic.

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