Ricky Rubio and the 2009 NBA Draft Class Get Some Nicknames

Contributor Written on May 28, 2009

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LOS ANGELES, CA - MAY 27: Chris Andersen #11 of the Denver Nuggets points in the first half against the Los Angeles Lakers in Game Five of the Western Conference Finals during the 2009 NBA Playoffs at Staples Center on May 27, 2009 in Los Angeles, Califo

(Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)

Nowadays everybody who is anybody has a nickname. Whether it is "King" James, Chris "Birdman" Anderson, or Evan "The Villain" Turner, everyone has to have a nickname. The players eligible for the 2009 NBA draft are no different, and I am one step ahead of the curve. It is time for Mr. Ace to assign a select chosen few with nicknames that will be associated with them long after they're gone, like El Duque—which I believe means "The Shit."

Brandon

Brandon Jennings. I'm gonna have to take it back a little old school with this one, but with that hair, I think Brandon "House Party" Jennings is a can't miss. With Brandon "House Party" Jennings, the high-top fade lives on. But once he loses the do, his nickname becomes "The Fugitive." How dare he not play by David Stern's rules.

Stephen

Stephen Curry. I wasn't originally going to make one for Curry, the guy has been one of the most exciting college basketball players ever, and he deserves a pass for that. But I was thinking Stephen "Cannonball" Curry because of how wet his jumper is. But then I saw his picture on ESPN, and it became clear. Stephen "The Extraterrestrial" Curry, because you can't tell me that dude doesn't look like E.T. Although he may have to fight Sam Cassell for the rights to that nickname.

Blake

Blake Griffin, you Shrek-lookin', dress-wearin', drag-queen monster. Ogre would just be too easy for this nickname. One of his nicknames is "BG," or so I have read. He went to Oklahoma, which is known for Boomer Sooner. I think "The Boomer Gooner" would be a shoe-in if he were returning to school next year. But I think I would like to stick with something that makes fun of his unique complexion that looks like a cross between Carrot Top and Juwan Howard. "Raggedy" Blake Griffin. A perfect fit because A) He likes to wear dresses, B) He has freckles, and C) He is a Daywalker.

Demar

Demar Derozan. With the recent, or not so recent, scandal going on at USC involving Tim Floyd paying cash to O.J. Mayo and associates, I think a money reference is the way to go—because we can pretty much guarantee that Derozan got the same treatment. Let's go with Demar "Daddy Dollaz" Derozan, it seems to fit. And there is always "Double D," something all of us love and enjoy.

Ricky

Ricky Rubio. This one is a home run. Ravishing Ricky Rubio. How could there be anything better? I know nothing about this kid other than he is supposed to be the next coming of Pistol Pete, so I guess I could go with Revolver Ricky and still have something solid. But any chance to pay tribute to Ravishing Rick Rude cannot be passed up. Now who wants a Rude Awakening?

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written on May 28, 2009 Humor

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