The Most WTF Stuff in Sports
Every day we encounter things in the real world that make us say WTF. Some are so unquestionably WTF that they can leave us LOLing or even SMDH.
The sports world is not unlike the real world in that there's no shortage of head-scratchers, conundrums and things that make us go hmmm.
Life is, quite simply, a giant pile of WTF. Here's the most WTF stuff of all the WTF stuff in sports.
WTF Is Will Muschamp Angry About?
University of Florida coach Will Muschamp is one of the most visibly (and vocally) angry coaches…like…ever. It's actually exhausting to watch him throughout the course of a game.
His injury-riddled Gators aren't doing him any favors this season, but he looks like this even when they're winning. Don't worry, Will, it'll all be over soon.
WTF Is with Teams Still Having Live Mascots?
I'm not going to get all PETA on you here, but the time of keeping large exotic animals in cages and/or chained up by the neck should be long behind us. It's inhumane and serves absolutely no purpose.
That's not to say there should be a blanket ban on live mascots. If your school's mascot is a dog, a chicken or any type of barnyard animal, have at it.
WTF Is with the Ridiculous Haircuts?
Most haircuts this ridiculous are part of rookie initiation. Some call it hazing, but I just call it very displeasing to the eye.
Hazing is definitely a little snappier than my phrase though.
WTF Is with L.A. Not Having an NFL Team?
The Raiders and the Rams have both had stints in Los Angeles, but the City of Angels has been without an NFL team for nearly two decades now.
Football is the most popular sports in the United States by far. So why are we talking about moving a franchise to London when the second largest city in the country doesn't even have a team?
WTF Is with Teddy Roosevelt Always Losing?
The Presidents Race at Nationals Park is the seventh inning stretch spectacle modeled after the Great Pierogi Race at Pittsburgh's PNC Park, which is modeled after the Sausage Race in Milwaukee.
The thing about the race in Washington is that for a long time it was rigged. The great Teddy Roosevelt had lost 525 consecutive races before they finally threw him a bone and let him win on the final day of the 2012 regular season.
In reality, TR would've wiped the floor with George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and Thomas Jefferson—if time travel wasn't an issue. He is, hands down, the biggest badass in American history, and I'm just glad he's not here to see all this.
WTF Is with Stanford & Oregon Always Ruining Each Other?
This has become an annual tradition in the Pac-12. When Oregon is up, Stanford will come in and slaughter the Ducks. When the Cardinal is up, the Ducks will come in and poop all over their crazy tree.
Neither of them are ever going to play in a BCS Championship again at this rate. At least the Ducks laid an egg in November though, rather than against Alabama in January. We don't want another Notre Dame incident.
Oh, and can you please explain to me what is happening in that photo? Like…uh…where those disembodied legs came from.
WTF Is with All the Fog Machines?
Are we at a Beyonce concert or a Thursday Night Football clunker between the Dolphins and Bengals, which will be played in front of a half-empty stadium and end on a safety in overtime?
Obviously it's the latter. And all the machine-generated fog in the world isn't going to change that game from a never-ending nightmare of mediocrity to something even remotely enjoyable.
So let's cut the crap, okay?
WTF Is with Shirtless Packers Fans?
First of all, you're welcome. When you search the Getty library for shirtless Packer fans these two shapely blonde ladies are the exception, not the rule.
In fact, they are literally the only exception.
Second of all, what is it with people in the Midwest proving they're insane by going shirtless in the winter? This is quite common at Bears, Steelers, Browns and Bengals games, too.
Nobody does it like they do in Green Bay, though.
WTF Is with Chris Bosh?
WTF Is with the University of Miami's Mascot?
They're the Miami Hurricanes, right? Well, obviously creating the plushy version of a massive churning tropical storm that forms over water is even harder than it sounds.
But how do you get from a hurricane to a cracked out looking ibis with Martin Scorsese eyebrows, scary demon eyes and a sailor cap with "Hurricanes" stitched across the front?
And does the sailor cap really need to say "Hurricanes?" Does that make it less crazy? The answer you're looking for is no.
WTF Is with the Diamondbacks' Scuzzy Outfield Pool?
There was a big hullabaloo at the end of the MLB's regular season because the Dodgers had the audacity to celebrate clinching a playoff spot by taking a dip in Arizona's outfield pool.
Baseball has all those insane unwritten rules, but personally I didn't have a problem with it. You know what they say about putting a grody pool in the outfield. If you build it…they (they being the Dodgers) will come.
They will come…and allegedly urinate in it.
WTF Is with Take Your Dog to the Ballpark Night?
Dogs are a lot like kids. You love your own but don't necessarily want to deal with anyone else's, particularly when they reach an age in which "bad" is no longer "cute" and is just bad.
As someone who has three dogs, I speak from experience on this one. I love them more than is probably considered healthy, but sometimes mama needs a break, a beer and a ballgame.
WTF Is Mike Ditka's Problem Anyway?
Mike Ditka is basically Frank Costanza, if every day was Festivus and it was always time for the airing of the grievances.
"I've got a lot of problems with you people, and now you're going to hear about it!"
You're getting bullied in the locker room? Mike Ditka doesn't care. He thinks you should man the hell up and start throwing punches. Don't stop throwing punches until the problem resolves itself.
You've been diagnosed with symptoms of CTE and have often contemplated suicide? Mike Ditka doesn't care. He wishes you'd handle it like Mike Ditka would handle it if it happened to Mike Ditka.
That's why Mike Ditka thinks Mike Ditka should be the President of the United States. Because he's right, you're wrong, he's a man, you're a baby and f*** you! That's why.
WTF Is with the Seagulls at Wrigley Field?
Seriously, what the hell is the deal with all the seagulls at Wrigley Field? I know Chicago is Lake Michigan adjacent, but there are lots of stadiums located near major bodies of water. Are any of them overrun by overly aggressive sea rats?
The seagulls at Wrigley are so prolific they have their own Facebook page. They are basically the second occupants of the stadium—like the Jets at MetLife Stadium, the difference being that the Giants charge their seagulls rent.
WTF Is with Coaches Being Caught off Guard by Gatorade Showers?
The Gatorade shower is a time-honored tradition in American sports, particularly college football. When you win a big game as a coach, you will have Gatorade dumped on you.
So why do coaches always look so damn surprised when it actually happens? This event is as sure as the tides coming and going; there's no excuse for being caught off guard.
WTF Is with the Steelers' Throwbacks?
The NFL loves throwback jerseys because introducing new ones every few years is a great way to make a buck off fans who will buy pretty much anything.
Some throwbacks are actually pretty sweet, while others are pretty unfortunate. Then there's the Steelers bumblebee uniforms, which are on a whole 'nother level.
The jerseys alone are a dumpster fire, but pairing them with khaki spandex…c'est magnifique!
WTF Is with Setting Fires at Soccer Games?
You've probably heard the old joke: I went to a fight the other day and a hockey game broke out!
Well, I think it should be amended to: I went to a giant public arson party the other day and a soccer game broke out!
Seriously! What's…with…the fire...
WTF Is with Monkeys Riding Dogs?
At a Broncos home game in December 2011, the halftime show was a monkey dressed like a cowboy strapped to the saddle of an overly complacent Border Collie.
In January 2006, the same (or very similar) act took the court at a Nuggets home game against the Suns. What's with monkeys riding on dogs in Denver?
WTF Is Going on in Denver Now?
The monkey riding the dog must have been a follow-up act to whatever this is.
No explanation was offered for this photo, just the date (October 10, 2004) and the location (a Broncos home game).
Monkeys riding dogs must have replaced angry sheep knocking down little kids.
WTF Is with Peyton Manning's Forehead?
The Answer: the Great Plains. The Sahara desert. Justin Bieber's career. Brett Favre's retirement saga. MLB's steroid era. Rick Reilly's ability to find gainful employment. Peyton Manning's forehead.
The Question: What are things that seem to go on forever, Alex?
Let's talk about Peyton Manning's forehead on Twitter. Follow @blamberr.