Darwin Strikes Da Bears

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Darwin Strikes Da Bears
(Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Ima

Offensive Coordinator, Ron Turner: "Alright, listen up, Kid. This year marks the 200th anniversary of that British fella, Charles Darwin's birthday. You know why Darwin matters to us in this glorious age, Jay?"

Jay Cutler: "Garsh! I reckon one of my bio courses at Vandy mentioned that Charles Darwin was the grandfather of modern biology and he proposed the theory of 'Natural Selection."

OFRT: "That's right, college boy. Good to see you didn't spend all your days in Nashville studying co-eds and hydroponics. Now, the key for us footballers is to keep on evolving, much like Darwin's beloved finches on Galapagos. So now you're here in Chicago with me; and we're forcing the 'Powers of Darwin' on this whole busted offense. Mercifully, we dragged that bearded freak, Orton, behind the barn and blasted his cranium apart with a shotgun; or sent him to Denver in exchange for you, I can't remember which. So you and I are gonna be making some big changes on offense."

JC: "Uhhh, coach?" [shaking disbelief and confusion from his cerebellum] "Got it! Sounds great, skip. What sorts of changes are we gonna be implementin' 'round here."

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