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Sports Bizarro World

BOSTON - JUNE 17:  Kevin Garnett #5, Ray Allen #20 and Paul Pierce #34 of the Boston Celtics celebrate in the locker room after defeating the Los Angeles Lakers in Game Six of the 2008 NBA Finals on June 17, 2008 at TD Banknorth Garden in Boston, Massachusetts. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this Photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.  (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)
800poundgorillaContributor IMay 27, 2009

As the 2009 NBA playoffs come to a close, we will soon see Kobe, Lebron, Melo, or Dwight wearing a fresh "2009 NBA Champions" t-shirt and hat as they celebrate on the court with their teammates.  

Kobe may be holding up four fingers in an eerie jordan-esque way. Mo Williams may be taking imaginary photos with an imaginary camera of a posing Lebron James. 

No matter who wins, there will also be a Final's loser and somewhere in that arena is the exact same set of "2009 NBA Champions" t-shirts and hats for the losing team which will never see the light of day in the U.S. 

Have you ever wondered what happens to all of the Championship gear for the team that loses the big game?  Somewhere out there, is a Sports Bizarro world where Michael Jordan is the biggest choke artist in NBA history, reaching the finals six times, but never winning that elusive title. 

The Buffalo Bills were the dynasty of the 90’s and the Cowboys got dominated. 

A world where Kobe and Shaq’s divorce could be rationalized as the pair has gone zero for three on the big stage.  

A world where Jeter and Mariano come up short four out of five years and are traded away in 2000 for some over the hill, 37 year old former all-stars by an impatient George Steinbrenner.  

These t-shirts and hats are shipped to Third World Countries like Ethiopia, Haiti, Sudan, etc..  Somewhere in Haiti, a little boy is wearing a "Patriots 19-0 Perfect Season" t-shirt right now. Although you will probably never see it, this Bizarro Sports World is out there and it is the only evidence of a sports world which could've been.

 

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