Welcome to the latest edition of the Onion Bag, your one-stop shop for weird and wonderful football news.
First up, we head to South America, where Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer Chad Smith managed to mortally offend Flamengo fans by wiping his backside with one of their shirts.
Next, we bow down before The Mighty Zlatan Ibrahimovic, who is being honoured in Sweden with his own set of postage stamps. The Paris Saint-Germain striker has also been rewarded with a FIFA Puskas Award nomination.
Finally, we consider the tale of England U21 star Andre Wisdom, who very unwisely decided to leave his car marooned in a bog in the middle of the woods while trying to get to a game.
Enjoy the show and leave your comments below.