Let there be cold-pressed juices.
LeBron James has spent the last decade dominating the NBA. Clearly eager to monopolize the juicing industry and achieve some world domination of her own, LeBron's wife, Savannah, will open a juice bar in Miami, according to ESPN's Darren Rovell:
After years of hearing her husband talk about his business projects, LeBron James' wife Savannah will start her own juice business next month.
"I would listen to him talk about his conversations with Warren Buffett or Jerry Jones," she said. "But I wanted to get into business, too."
The store, called The Juice Spot, is expected to open in the Brickell neighborhood in Miami in the first week of December.
Per Rovell, Savannah's new dive will specialize in "cold-pressed juices," which are both a recent "phenomenon" and predictably expensive:
The business will sell cold-pressed juices, a relatively recent phenomenon where fruits and vegetables are squeezed at high pressure to create a more dense product that some believe help preserve the ingredients better than putting them in a blender. Cold-pressed juices are known to have a much shorter shelf life than bottled smoothies and often cost double the price.
Savannah's place will sell 16-ounce bottles of the stuff for between $6 and $10. Who knew the juicing industry could be so lucrative?
With her business expected to open in December, Savannah has wasted no time in promoting it on Instagram.
Those in need of a job, partial to healthy beverages and/or hoping to catch a glimpse of LeBron downing some fruity vegetable goodness, and are living in Miami, are in luck: applications are being accepted now.
And if this means anything to anyone, Chris Paul apparently approves, too.
All of this begs the question: Can The Juice Spot make me something purple or blue?
Oh, there's also the matter of reading waaaaaay too much into this and analyzing what it could mean for LeBron's future with the Miami Heat.
His wife is opening a juice bar in the city he currently plays in? He must be staying, right?
Wrong. Or, partially wrong.
LeBron could stay with the Heat—I believe he'll opt in for one more year—but no matter what happens, his decision will have more to do with winning championships than it will with concocting "healthy potions."
Be wary of falling into the trap that this allows us to glean insight into his plans. Seriously, please don't.
Savannah may hope to franchise this bad boy and turn it into a wildly successful brand that rivals her husband's name. "The Juice Spot" is nonspecific, and could fit nicely into the Los Angeles Lakers' scene. Cleveland Cavaliers fans have to indulge their juicing urges every once in awhile, too.
Wait until 2015, and the New York Knicks faithful will be itching for a juice bar of their own.
Unless Savannah renames her new business "The Juice Spot: Where LeBron James Will Be Chugging Juice As a Member of the Miami Heat Until He Retires," let's not blow this out of proportion.
Now, about that purplish blue elixir I requested...