Death, taxes and Andrew Bynum getting booed by the home crowd at the Wells Fargo Center.
If you're looking for a story with a surprise, this would not be it.
Bynum being showered with jeers by the Philadelphia 76ers faithful was as sure a thing as it gets. After all, Friday night's matchup between the Sixers and Cleveland Cavaliers was the first time the big man returned to Philly since he missed an entire season with recurring knee injuries.
The 7-footer was the key return in the multi-team trade that sent Andre Iguodala to the Denver Nuggets. And yet, he never suited up for Philadelphia, as injuries and bowling-related setbacks kept him from playing even a second of the 2012-13 season.
But was booing enough to honor his return?
Of course not!
"Bynum sucks" chants surfaced a minute after he entered the game, and it was the first of several ways that the crowd attempted to get under his skin.
Andrew "YOLO" Bynum ain't worried 'bout nothing RT @PompeyOnSixers Now the crowd is chanting 'Let's go bowling ,,, let's go bowling."— Michael Lee (@MrMichaelLee) November 9, 2013
Were bowling references enough?
Of course not!
Twitter even got in on the action:
Of course Philly would boo Bynum, but booing Bynum, at this point, is like booing an abandoned building.— netw3rk (@netw3rk) November 9, 2013
For what it's worth, Bynum didn't do too much during his first set of minutes.
Before the first quarter ended, he recorded two rebounds and blocked a Lavoy Allen attempt. During the second quarter, he spent nearly six minutes on the court before taking a seat, registering two more boards, a steal and an assist.
Bynum didn't let it get to him, apparently. His response was a mixture of "keeping it classy" and "suck it":
Andrew Bynum on the heckling from Philly fans: "I thought it was a little weak. Honestly, I thought it was going to be much worse."— Alex Kennedy (@AlexKennedyNBA) November 9, 2013
"Abandoned building" may be going a bit too far, but at least Philadelphia fans didn't have to witness a completely dominant effort from Bynum.
That would have been more heartbreaking than anything else.