This Week in Annoying: The Worst in Sports Right Now
Jeffrey Loria just made a little over $30 million selling a painting, and that's just one of many things we found absurdly annoying this week.
Sure, the mess surrounding Richie Incognito has garnered a wealth of time with the media, but there have been other awful items that need to come to light.
Don't worry, there will be time to rip Incognito anew later in the slideshow.
With that, we welcome you back to another episode of our spotlight on the absurd, immature and entirely ridiculous.
But there are, of course, so many more stories to highlight during a tumultuous week, lending so much frustration from all corners of the sports world, so feel free to nominate your own knuckleheads in the comments section below.
Now, there is a time and a place to get the fans hyped, but try to do it before or after an important goal-line play.
Yahoo! Sports spotted this Instagram video featuring Baylor safety Ahmad Dixon nearly missing a fairly important play. (If you consider plays within the 5-yard line when the score is 3-0 to be important.)
Coaches Literally Trademarking Names
While their football players can't even get paid a dollar for signing autographs for fans, coaches are now apparently trademarking their names to bring in that sweet green.
USA Today's Steve Berkowitz reports Dabo Swinney and Urban Meyer are among the college football coaches in the process of having their names trademarked so, you know, nobody else makes a buck off of their name.
Please don't tell Jay Bilas, or his head may explode.
For the record, coaches should guarantee their namesake is well taken care of, but it would be nice if the guys playing the actual games had the same latitude.
Nails and Wild Thing Squabble
The above video features some NSFW language.
Here is a video of former Phillies pitcher Mitch Williams dropping some F-bombs with former Phillies slugger Lenny Dykstra, all while former Phillies catcher Darren Daulton was nearby.
Yes, it's hardly a Brady Bunch reunion, but it's certainly a captivating scene.
Bleacher Report's Dan Carson has a nice breakdown of the odd scene. Apparently, things got heated when Williams allegedly refused to shake Dykstra's hand.
From there, it was so on.
By now you have heard the name Richie Incognito roughly a dozen times, and that's just in the past few hours. If not, that means you have been stuck in a cave, and we so envy that about you.
The Miami lineman was given an indefinite suspension from the Dolphins for conduct detrimental to the team and was subsequently taken to task for a racially charged, expletive-laced message he once left on Jonathan Martin's voice mail, via ESPN.
From there, the entire world was abuzz with a bullying debate that revolved around a hazing tradition in the NFL that has increasingly proved to be far worse than previously realized.
As for Incognito, he has had a wealth of fellow NFLers stick up for his way of doing things, like the Giants' Antrel Rolle.
Now the story continues to take bizarre turns: The Miami Herald reported some in the locker room considered Incognito an "honorary black guy," and The National Football Post reports Incognito regularly held meetings at strip clubs and "fined" teammates who didn't show up.
The more the story unfolds, the bigger the bullying problem seems and the worse Incognito looks.
If you are feeling down, just take the equivalent of the football antidote with Brandon Marshall's refreshing take on the issue of harassment and sensitivity in the locker room, via Deadspin.
Jeffrey Loria Still Ballin'
Miami Marlins fans, you might want to avert your eyes.
Yahoo! Sports' Mark Townsend reports the Marlins owner just sold a painting for a nice chunk of change: $32.6 million, to be exact.
The funny (awful, frustrating?) part is the entire payroll for the lackluster Marlins this season was all of $39 million.
Yup, the owner who loves fire sales and purging high-priced talent just sold an item that could have nearly paid for the season's worth of talent.
Today I learned that merely selling an item can actually troll a fanbase.
Rockies Owner Tickled to Take Mugshot
This is not a picture of Rockies co-owner Charlie Monfort at a family barbecue, nor is it a selfie he was planning to post to Facebook for the giggles.
This is his ecstatic take on how one poses for a mugshot after being arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence.
The Greeley Tribune has the entire report, but we like to think this epic mugshot really tells the whole story rather nicely.
Florida State Was a Drunken Madhouse
At least the tailgate was festive.
The Tallahassee Democrat's Arek Sarkissian II reports fans at Doak Campbell Stadium on Saturday evening to watch Florida State take on Miami were in the record-setting mood.
Unfortunately, the record was the amount of fans officials had to kick out before the game.
It seems a record 267 fans were so drunk that officials asked them to leave the game before they even made it to their seats.
Perhaps next time go easy on the beer pong in the parking lot prior to the actual sporting event.