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Aging socialite Paris Hilton is currently dating a man by the name of DJ Afrojack because of course she is. In the past, she has dated director Todd Phillips and nightclub owner Cy Waits. Hilton has also been intimate with superstar footballer Cristiano Ronaldo and actor person Dough Reinhardt.
She once swapped spit with actor Jared Leto and tragically 90s, despite existing in the 2000s, rocker Benji Madden. Before that, she was shacking up with Bruce Jenner spawn Brody Jenner and Swedish male model Alex Vaggo. Also invited for a stay at the Paris Hilton was actor Adrian Grenier and singer James Blunt.
Preceding them were actor Josh Henderson, tennis bust Andy Roddick and the late DJ AM. Hilton once dated Blink 182 drummer Travis Barker, which was right after a fling with greasy oil heir Brandon Davis.
Before that, she was giving failed quarterback Matt Leinart and actor Chad Michael Murray the business. Then there was her Greek shipping heir phase, when she dated Stavros Niarchos and got engaged to Paris Latsis. The marriage never happened.
Earlier in her career as a temporary bad dating decision to the stars, Hilton was linked to terrible singer Fred Durst, former MTV VJ Simon Rex, wannabe porn king Joe Francis and Avril Lavigne-ex Deryck Whibley. Those fellows were the encore performance to relationships with troubled boybander Nick Carter, troubled actor Tom Sizemore and troubled actor Edward Furlong.
And lest we forget about the man who filmed his stay at the Paris Hilton, hence launching her forever into the spotlight, Rick Salomon, the director, star and co-distributor of the porn classic One Night in Paris. (See what they did there?)
Who she should date next: I've got two words for you! The first word is...Richie. The second word is...Incognito. It's stunning these two haven't already hooked up.
That isn't even the full list of Hilton's conquests. It was the abbreviated list of the guys we know she hooked up with. God help us, and please, for the love of him, someone please alert the CDC.