It's that time again, everyone! WWE's hit reality series "Total Divas" returns Sunday night on E! for the premiere episode of the midseason run of episodes (or season 1.5 if you prefer that term).
- Nattie Neidhart (Natalya) and TJ Wilson (Tyson Kidd/El Local #2) got married after like a dozen years together in spite of their old friend Jaret (former independent wrestler Rod Rage) professing his love for her.
- Ariane Andrew (Cameron) was rushed to the hospital with severe abdominal pain from what turned out to be a flare-up of endomitriosis. She now has to deal with the possibility that she's infertile.
- Nikki Bella moved in with John Cena after it seemed like they were living together for the whole season anyway.
- JoJo Offerman and Eva Marie Nolastname are no longer friends or roommates, thanks to both Eva Marie's general demeanor and JoJo's jealousy of her getting more opportunities sooner. JoJo is now super snarky and thus way more entertaining than before, at one point telling the camera Eva Marie's push is basically just because she has breast implants.
- The Brie Bella/Bryan Danielson (Daniel Bryan) and Trinity McCray (Naomi)/Jon Fatu (Jimmy Uso) pairings were normal boring happy couples as of the finale.
Eva Marie's rising popularity is seen as a threat by Nikki; Ariane works on anger management; and an accident during a match leaves Nattie worried about returning to the ring for SummerSlam.
In addition, what we can glean from the above promo video and the preview clips on the E! website (not embeddable or directly linkable, unfortunately) is the following:
- Nattie's "accident?" It's totally peeing her pants. When she angrily storms into the shower and throws her gear on the floor, they blur the pee stain. Nikki thinks this is hilarious and runs to tell her live-in boyfriend John Cena, who's stonefaced and tells her "I pooped myself once."
- However, Nattie loved her match with Brie at SummerSlam and thought it was one of the best matches of her career. Well, OK then. The clips they show of the match have fake sound effects dubbed in, especially for slaps.
- Ariane has a road rage incident.
- As everyone expected, they play up the SummerSlam main event of John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan as a "Bella boyfriend vs Bella boyfriend match" as if it's a huge deal.
How dizzying with Nattie's highs and lows be? Will Ariane start seeing a therapist and if so, will it be hilarious? Once we determine if Nattie's accident was a real thing or not, will "real" or "fake" be more gross?
Tune in this Sunday night to find out, and check back here Monday for my usual recap/review.