The All-Motorsport Power Rankings: Week 19
Memorial Day weekend is one of the best weekends to be a motorsport fan, as the whole world gears up for some of the most famous races in history, and this weekend was no different.
So to celebrate such a weekend of motorsport I got swept away with all the talk of Hollywood scripts for Indy (and indeed the farce that is F1), and decided to take this week's Power Rankings to stage and screen, each entrant having a parallel personality, position or role in show business.
15 Romain Grosjean (GP2)
A superb driver in his own right, after winning the feature race, Romain tried to find alternatives to cranes for clearing the Monaco track.
14 Jos Verstappen (Le Mans 24 hours)
The first victim in a horror movie
Just days after confirming a Le Mans drive with Aston Jos got off to the worst possible start, writing off a car at a pre-La Sarthe test.
13 Dave Blaney (NASCAR)
The Slasher victim who doesn’t die
Dave, chequered flag, chequered flag, Dave. I believe you two haven’t seen each other for a while
12 Lewis Hamilton (F1)
Rejected song lyrics “Diamonds are for 12th place”
11 Tony Kanaan (Indycar)
The promising director who can only make crap films
Tony after his Indy crash – “I’ve got two and a half broken ribs”
How can you have half a broken rib? Is it broken or not?
Quick, someone check his head.
10 Luca Di Montezemolo (F1)
The Pantomime Dame
Altogether everyone – “Oh no you’re not!”
Monday: Williams submits 2010 entry.
9 Giancarlo Fisichella (F1)
The star of a film no-one watched
Giancarlo came the closest Force India have ever come to point, unknown to team boss Vijay Mallya, who was busy watching his stick-and-ball team in South Africa (they also lost)
8 Nelson Piquet Jr (F1)
The master of deadpan comedy
Nelson being interviewed about his Monaco demise;
“The young driver behind me came, and I don’t know what he was thinking about”
Who died and made you the arbiter of talent?!
I can only hope the interviewer point out Buemi has more points this season.
7 Rubens Barrichello (F1)
Not the opinion of Ross Brawn, or anyone at Brawn GP. Honest.
6 Timo Bernhard (Sportscars)
The star of Indie films
Timo took his fourth consecutive win at the Nurburgring 24 hours, not that anyone noticed as it was buried beneath other news and shrouded by appalling picture distribution.
5 Jenson Button (F1)
Whoever they get to star in Police Academy 8
Win number five and I’m actually starting to look forward to the tight battle between Litespeed and Lada F1 for the 2010 title...
4 David Reutimann (NASCAR)
The winner of the latest Simon Cowell talent show
With all that unnecessary waiting and suspense, you could have forgiven Beak for going home. And like any Cowell starlet he’ll have a week in the limelight, before we realise who the real talent is.
3 Townsend Bell (Indycar)
Fourth at Indy, in only a second week ride, all for no attention as he hasn’t beaten the tax man, although he has $445,000 to change that now.
2 Jari-Matti Latvala (WRC)
The twist in the tale
Hooray! Someone other than Loeb won a rally. There is still hope, faint distant hope.