The San Francisco 49ers and the Draft Day Dilemma

Alex Smith, so young and innocent

Watching the Draft Day Event

His mom cooked pancakes

She kissed his shoulder that aches

Today was a big day!!!

A new season in The Bay

He watched on the bean bag

And read ESPN the Mag 

ESPN says 49ers take Jerod Mayo

Alex wants them to say no

"Defense is not what we need!

Give me a WR with speed!"

And he began to cry in his fort

And quit this stupid sport

While Alex was bitching out

And filling his franchise wit doubt

Patrick Willis awoke with anticipation

And jumped in celebration

An hour before the draft began

P-Willis thought of the plan

What did the the 49ers think?

"We know the offense stinks 

But is a WR the best pick?

Hardy has hands like a brick,

Jackson is too small

And Kelly can't catch the ball

I need to tell the GM my plan

Take Dan Conner, he is the man!"

While Willis wishes for Conner

Jake Long is a goner

Taken by Miami number one

The draft had begun

In the interview session 

John Madden asked a question

As Bill Belichick sat in his hoody

You could tell he was moody

"You have pick number seven

(Which is better than eleven)

Will you take a player from college?"

Wild Bill responds robotically, "To my knowledge"

Madden offers some Turducken 

And a commercial interrupts draft day on ESPN 

In the war room Mike Nolan sits

Scheming up his draft day blitz

Dresses in his tuxedo suit

He looks at his player pursuit

Pick 13 has just passed

He might as well have picked last

Nolan scratches his head

At the pick ahead

The light bulb comes on

He knows he has won

He has figured what to do

And his players to pursue

Just want his turn

And watch and learn

As Mike Nolan checks

He sees pick 20 is next

John Madden is still yelling nonsense

And the room is tense

Roger Goodell has an interview

With Pacman Jones, that's who

Things go fine until the end

Because Goodell made a new best-friend

And all the awkwardness and hate is gone

And the suspension is withdrawn

But the weird thing is this

Pacman and Goodell share a kiss

And together they walk by Kenny Mayne

They want to go "make it rain"

And finally the pick at last

Mike needs to come up fast

His plan has come to fruition

The names were all in position

The names were hung by the dartboard with care 

With hopes that the dart would soon be there

Coach Nolan closed his eyes 

49er fan let out cries

As the dart flew out of his hand

Everyone began to stand

Alex Smith stopped sucking his thumb

Patrick Willis knew this was dumb 

And the dart hit with great force

It hit its target on its collision course

And there it hung on a wall

The man who could play some ball

With the 29th pick in the NFL draft the 49ers select

Someone who is going to be just perfect

Kentwan Balmer the defensive tackle from NC State

Alex Smith is irate 

ESPN is amused

Patrick Willis is confused 

And 49er fans have never heard of him

And want to tear Nolan limb from limb

The draft day dilemma has ended

And while it wasn't so splendid

The fans crack open a beer

Because, "there is always next year"