Alex Smith, so young and innocent
Watching the Draft Day Event
His mom cooked pancakes
She kissed his shoulder that aches
Today was a big day!!!
A new season in The Bay
He watched on the bean bag
And read ESPN the Mag
ESPN says 49ers take Jerod Mayo
Alex wants them to say no
"Defense is not what we need!
Give me a WR with speed!"
And he began to cry in his fort
And quit this stupid sport
While Alex was bitching out
And filling his franchise wit doubt
Patrick Willis awoke with anticipation
And jumped in celebration
An hour before the draft began
P-Willis thought of the plan
What did the the 49ers think?
"We know the offense stinks
But is a WR the best pick?
Hardy has hands like a brick,
Jackson is too small
And Kelly can't catch the ball
I need to tell the GM my plan
Take Dan Conner, he is the man!"
While Willis wishes for Conner
Jake Long is a goner
Taken by Miami number one
The draft had begun
In the interview session
John Madden asked a question
As Bill Belichick sat in his hoody
You could tell he was moody
"You have pick number seven
(Which is better than eleven)
Will you take a player from college?"
Wild Bill responds robotically, "To my knowledge"
Madden offers some Turducken
And a commercial interrupts draft day on ESPN
In the war room Mike Nolan sits
Scheming up his draft day blitz
Dresses in his tuxedo suit
He looks at his player pursuit
Pick 13 has just passed
He might as well have picked last
Nolan scratches his head
At the pick ahead
The light bulb comes on
He knows he has won
He has figured what to do
And his players to pursue
Just want his turn
And watch and learn
As Mike Nolan checks
He sees pick 20 is next
John Madden is still yelling nonsense
And the room is tense
Roger Goodell has an interview
With Pacman Jones, that's who
Things go fine until the end
Because Goodell made a new best-friend
And all the awkwardness and hate is gone
And the suspension is withdrawn
But the weird thing is this
Pacman and Goodell share a kiss
And together they walk by Kenny Mayne
They want to go "make it rain"
And finally the pick at last
Mike needs to come up fast
His plan has come to fruition
The names were all in position
The names were hung by the dartboard with care
With hopes that the dart would soon be there
Coach Nolan closed his eyes
49er fan let out cries
As the dart flew out of his hand
Everyone began to stand
Alex Smith stopped sucking his thumb
Patrick Willis knew this was dumb
And the dart hit with great force
It hit its target on its collision course
And there it hung on a wall
The man who could play some ball
With the 29th pick in the NFL draft the 49ers select
Someone who is going to be just perfect
Kentwan Balmer the defensive tackle from NC State
Alex Smith is irate
ESPN is amused
Patrick Willis is confused
And 49er fans have never heard of him
And want to tear Nolan limb from limb
The draft day dilemma has ended
And while it wasn't so splendid
The fans crack open a beer
Because, "there is always next year"
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5 months ago
Pretty good shit dude!!
5 months ago
i enjoyed this a lot. makes me want to read it while listening to some hip-hop drum beat. that'd be awesome. anyway, Desean isn't that small. not any smaller than Steve Smith or Santana Moss. Though let's just say it has to be either one of these and we'll all have a good time.
5 months ago
Totally Called It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4 months ago
That was awsome! (even though I ain't a 9er fan.)
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