Whatever sort of husband and father Aguero has been, Maradona is the last one qualified to judge.
Maradona's outburst over Argentinian radio airwaves follows Aguero's failed marriage to Maradona's daughter Giannina, which ended earlier this year.
Per the ESPN staff report: "Having been the most high-profile father-in-law at the time, Maradona has now slammed Aguero, and is threatening to take legal action against the City man."
Putting aside the very 1980s choice of insult—maybe Maradona just couldn't pull "dweeb" out of the recesses of his mind—Maradona is the figurative glass-house owner who probably ought to put the rocks down.
Calling Maradona "high-profile" is like calling Charlie Sheen "famous." It is true, but maybe not for the reasons a sane person would hope for.
Maradona's character was most sharply brought into question by way of the goal he is best remembered for.
Per The Independent, "Maradona’s infamous ‘hand of god’ goal against England in the quarter-finals of the 1986 World Cup is undeniably one of the most iconic moments of cheating in sport."
All right, so maybe Maradona was a ruthless competitor on the pitch, someone who might break a rule to gain an advantage. Fans want that from their players, as long as they are good guys outside the lines. So no problem, right?
Maradona's life away from football, during and after his playing career, has been a real-time seminar on what not to do.
As Spencer Hall put it for sbnation.com, "Diego Maradona admitting drug use is not a big deal, since Maradona has publicly admitted cocaine use both during and after his playing career."
Hall also recounts how Maradona "was later thrown out of the '94 World Cup for cocaine use." Lovely.
OK, so maybe Maradona was an unrelenting competitor who needed an edge. How did he treat people?
Well, he certainly loves the ladies.
This Associated Press piece from September 21, 2012 does a pretty comprehensive job setting forth Maradona's confirmed history as a man of passion.
Per the AP report, Maradona was at the time on his way to having a child with girlfriend Veronica Ojeda. The child, who he named after himself in 2013, was his fifth overall.
If that sounds complicated, wait until you catch some of these details.
Again, per the AP:
The 51-year-old Maradona has two daughters from his marriage with Claudia Vallafane - Dalma and Giannina. The Argentine football great has two other children he has never recognized as his, although courts in paternity cases have ruled he is the father.
What a charmer.
One of the children he never recognized, Diego Sinagra, went on to play lower-level football in Italy. Surely that made Maradona proud?
Maybe not. ''A judge has obliged me to pay support, but that does not obligate me to feel love for him,'' said Maradona about Sinagra in 2005.
As for the other child Maradona disclaims, "his fourth child, a girl, was born in 1996, offspring of a relationship with an Argentine woman. Little is known of her."
Man, it is getting harder and harder to see Maradona's side of this row with Aguero. At least Maradona has paid his taxes, though, hopefully?
Per Chris Richards of The Mirror, "Diego Maradona is to have his assets frozen by Italian tax officials to help repay £33 million of debt."
To recap, then, Maradona is an admitted drug user, a notorious deadbeat dad and an alleged tax cheat.
Even if Aguero was a disappointment to Maradona as a son-in-law and the father of Maradona's grandson, Maradona is the last person who should ever be calling Aguero out on it.
Then again, maybe someone as loathsome as Maradona knows a bad guy when he sees one.
He gets a good look at one in the mirror every morning.