Anyone who has friends who are Boston Red Sox fans would do well to bring them some Gatorade, chicken soup and Tylenol, because they are nursing one hell of a hangover at the moment.
A bacon sandwich also works wonders.
Guyism's A. Isaac spotted a video that serves to prove local networks might want to screen their subjects a bit more carefully. At the very least, don't just grab the first drunk guy you see on the street.
Here are a couple of Red Sox fans giving some drunk answers to very easy questions, all with some NSFW language.
Thankfully, A. Isaac transcribed some of this mess so we can truly appreciate the momentary genius that filled the screen.
First, the interview gets off to a rousing start as the reporter asks, "How about being here for this momentous occasion? This is history."
Yes, because merely winning the World Series, something the Sox did in 2004 and 2007, wasn't special enough. The media had to make a huge deal of them clinching at home for the first time since 1918.
Well, the people that are really excited about that fact happen to be extremely inebriated.
Case in point, our pal here answers with, "This is history and I’ll (tell) you what, I was not alive during 1918 obviously, and this was more than [expletive] history."
Unfortunately, I didn't properly savor a Fall Classic that superseded mere history. For some reason, I wasn't aware that we were dealing with a series that trumped the annals of time.
Good to know.
Also, it gets better. Another random drunk guy who may also be half asleep offers, "I’ve been alive since probably 1988 and this is the best time ever cause I’ve been watching the Sox since ’88, I haven’t seen them win a Game 6 since now."
Wait. This is the first time the Red Sox have clinched in a Game 6 since 1918 as well! Alert the masses; it truly is a day of wonderment.
My favorite part in all this is the drunk math that goes on in his noggin. We have all been one too many beers deep into the night when we were asked to calculate tip or figure out how much money we need for a cab. The mental calculation takes far longer than it should.
So we actually feel for the man who is only a little certain that he has been alive since 1988. I know for sure the day and year of my birth, but going to a party like the one around Fenway Park Wednesday night would have made those details rather fuzzy.
Incidentally, if we are still looking for hangover cures for Sox fans, I found that writhing in pain for 12 hours and then passing out for a couple of days works wonders.
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