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Day To Day (HUMOR): Curtain Falls

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Day To Day (HUMOR): Curtain Falls
(Photo by Stu Forster/Getty Images).

The English Premier League has come to an end after a fine season for everyone. Well, almost everyone.

The biggest losers are the relegated teams. That's probably why they have been relegated.

But still, Day To Day realizes how sad it is to bid a farewell to great clubs. Years ago, nobody would have expected Newcastle United to drop. Of course, that was before Mike Ashley took over.

Newcastle were simply terrible. They were so terrible that Fabricio Coloccini remained a first-team player all season.

Newcastle were so terrible that they could have offered Titus Bramble a return to St. James' Park. Hell, even Alan Shearer fears that Newcastle may turn into the new Leeds.

What is it that got them the drop? It doesn't need a genius to figure that out, just look at the stars of their squad:

-Michael Owen (£100,000-a-week and makes Ronaldo look like he never gets injured)

-Joey Barton (proudly knows every prison in town)

-Damien Duff (is he still alive?)

In Middlesbrough, neither Gareth Southgate's "brilliance" nor Afonso Alves' inaccurate finishing has been able to spare Boro from relegation.

But cheer up Afonso, Day To Day is proud to announce that you have won an award for this season. The £12 million signing wins the "The Worst Signing of the Season" award. Well, it's an award, isn't it? 

Meanwhile Southgate predicts that many players will part company with Boro this summer. It's such an intellingent prediction.

But if we're to look at Boro's lineup, they do have some fine players in the shape of Stewart Downing and Sanli Tuncay. Tuncay is one man who is tipped (by Day To Day) to achieve big things at a big club in a big stadium. In other words, have a big career away from the Boro madness.

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On to other predictions in England, Liverpool boss Rafael Benitez says about Xabi Alonso, "he is not for sale, (before continuing for those with weak minds) and we do not want to sell."

But not that or even saying more for the blockheads who did not understand Liverpool's unwillingness to sell, can stop Real Madrid (aka blockheads) from trailing Alonso.

Also rumored to be interested in Alonso are Juventus and Arsenal.

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That's right the curtain falls on the English Premier League for this season, with Manchester United running out as deserved winners.

The biggest losers this year are undoubtedly West Brom, Middlesbrough, and Newcastle.

Some predictions for next year (deep, deep breath):

Chelsea sack the new Scolari, Jose Mourinho is linked with a return to England (ahh, no!), Sir Alex Ferguson stays on as Man Utd manager, Mark Hughes is sacked (anyday now), Robbie Keane scores a goal in Liverpool and celebrates as if he won the Champions League, Gareth Barry moves to Real Madrid (Benitez cries over the "missed opportunity"), Arsene Wenger signs "future projects" in the shape of two-year-old talents, and Manchester United retain their title.

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Breaking News

Curtain Falls on the EPL as it fell on a certain British boy band four years ago...

Day To Day receives the exciting news that British boy band Blue have reunited. They are Day To Day's favorite.

Until we meet again,

Day To Day

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