The 10 Least Scary Wrestling Moments of All Time

Andy Soucek@Andy_SoucekFeatured ColumnistOctober 31, 2013

The 10 Least Scary Wrestling Moments of All Time

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    Wrestling has been filled with bizarre and downright creepy characters over the years, but sometimes moments that are supposed to scare us fall flat.

    For every truly eerie moment, there are probably 10 that were just ridiculous.

    With the Halloween spirit in full swing, it's time to take a look back at all the times promoters attempted Exorcist like scares, and wound up with Thankskilling instead.

    So, feel free to turn the lights off, head out to that abandoned cabin in the woods, invite over your favorite hockey mask-wearing friend and read this article. 

    You won't be scared. Not one bit.

    From dead men to apparitions to mythical creatures, here are the least scary moments in wrestling history.

Child’s Play

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    For weeks in WCW, we heard a menacing cackle over the sound system.

    Who was behind it? Most would have assumed it was a new or repackaged wrestler, but the answer was far more terrifying...well, terrifyingly stupid.

    It was Chucky.

    You know, the doll from the bad '80s horror films.

    You see, Chucky had somehow formed an alliance with Scott Steiner in his free time. How this is humanly possible was never acknowledged. But basically Chucky told off Rick Steiner and Gene Okerlund on Nitro, and gloated about how his brother would beat him at Halloween Havoc.

    Rick, showing he’s perhaps not the brightest man alive, challenged the doll to come down to the ring. This challenge was surprisingly not accepted.

    In the end, we never saw Chucky again in WCW, though the movie they were promoting, Bride of Chucky, was actually kind of fun—much more so than the payoff to this horrible angle.

Taker Dies and Goes To...Somewhere

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    Fans at the Royal Rumble 1994 saw something truly terrifying that no one should ever have to witness: a 15 minute Yokozuna vs. Undertaker match.

    Oh, and on top of that they saw The Undertaker die.

    The match ended when half the heels on the roster beat down Undertaker and tossed him in a casket. Despite Undertaker being in a casket on other occasions in his career, this time it killed him dead.

    Then, things got supernatural.

    Somehow a camera was installed in the casket and had a live feed that was broadcast to the arena. Taker spoke his last words before exploding (yes, exploding) and turning into a ghost, or an angel or something.

    Fun fact: You may be surprised to know that Taker did not, indeed, die, and somehow still wrestles (occasionally) to this day.

Is That a Warrior in My Mirror?

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    Lots of children have played the game Bloody Mary. This is where you say her name three times in a dark bathroom, and you’ll see her face in the mirror.

    But want to see something even more terrifying in your mirror? Imagine seeing The Ultimate Warrior there.

    You’d never go in your bathroom again!

    In 1998, The Warrior (no longer "Ultimate" for legal reasons) joined WCW. He had his sights set on Hulk Hogan and wanted to unleash some destrucity. He began playing mind games with his former WrestleMania VI opponent, by disappearing in a fog of smoke and shining his own Batman-like signal.

    The worst of it came when, during a backstage segment, Hogan looked into his bathroom mirror and saw The Warrior behind it. Eric Bischoff was also in the room but couldn’t see it. However, the announcers and the fans could.

    So who was actually crazy here?

    The correct answer is that the crazy person is whoever thought this was a good idea.

The Debut of the Yeti

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    What’s scarier than a Bigfoot or a Loch Ness monster? The answer is a Yeti.

    And for some reason, Yetis look like mummies in WCW lore. They also bare a strange resemblance to Ron Reis.

    At Halloween Havoc 1995, Hulk Hogan was in a lot of trouble. The Dungeon of Doom had the odds stacked against him, and he was set to duel The Giant over the WCW Heavyweight Championship.

    Somehow, Hogan had already defeated The Giant in a monster truck battle earlier that evening. He also knocked him off the top of a building in a fall that should have killed him.

    Anyway, during the main event, things got spooky. Or crappy, depending on your point of view. Out of nowhere, the match was interrupted by The Yeti. He shambled his way down to the ring to destroy Hulkamania forever...or just give him a weird, long double-hug.

    The Yeti soon disappeared from WCW. Some say he’s still out there, and if you ever find stray toilet paper in your home, you can only assume that the Yeti is nearby.

Jake the Snake Traps Ultimate Warrior

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    If you were a kid in the '80s, the Ultimate Warrior/Undertaker and Jake Roberts feud may have been terrifying.

    Watching it today, though, is just downright cheesy.

    To help prepare Warrior for his feud with 'Taker, Jake helped him face his fears. He even buried him alive, all in the name of friendship. There was one more test, though, that old Snake Man had for the Warrior: A room filled with snakes. 

    Warrior was set to find an object in the middle of the room that would help him overcome his fears, or give him magical powers or something stupid like that. 

    It was all a ruse, though. As Warrior made his way to the box, creepy music played. What could possibly be inside of it?

    The camera angles also suggest that there was a cameraman inside there with him, but let’s forget that.

    Oh, yeah, back to the box. It was another snake. This one was poisonous, though, and it bit him in the face!

    The end of the segment also saw the camera miraculously appear from the eyes of The Warrior in a first-person view.

    Then it appeared that Warrior died. Oh well!

The Debut of Se7en

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    Goldust had mysteriously disappeared from The World Wrestling Federation, and someone was stalking the children of WCW.

    In a series of vignettes, a man dressed all in black with white makeup was looking in on a young boy’s window while he slept. Creepy. Not sure what that has to do with professional wrestling, but it’s still creepy.

    We found out that this man’s name was Se7en. For some reason he has a 7 in his name acting as a “v." It’s one of wrestling’s greatest unsolved mysteries.

    Anyway, when Se7en made his debut, he appeared to float to the ring! Run for your lives!

    As soon as he landed, though, he informed us all that this was a gimmick that he was supposed to play, and this is what he hated about life in the WWF. The character was dead on arrival, and he went on to have a mediocre run as Dustin Rhodes.

    The most terrifying part of all was that it was Vince Russo’s idea. Ahhhhhhhh!

The Boogeyman Scares John Cena

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    Have you ever heard of the 2005 film The Boogeyman with the older brother from 7th Heaven? It sucked. But later that year, we remarkably got a wrestler with the same name. Coincidence?

    Anyway, one night John Cena was interviewing wrestlers about Kurt Angle. It was Cena's brand of comedy at its worst. Mercifully, he stumbled upon a closet that inexplicably contained The Boogeyman. 

    Unfortunately, Boogeyman didn't kidnap Cena, and instead resorted to his usual shtick of laughing maniacally and slamming a clock over his head. Cena sold it (who would've guessed?) and resorted to cartoonish facial expressions.

    While having a Boogeyman in your closet would be frightening, it's nothing compared to having to watch John Cena's acting skills. 

    The horror!

Sting vs. Abyss Last Rites Match

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    If candelabras on the ring post and a fake tombstone by ringside aren't creepy, then I don't know what is.

    Abyss and Sting engaged in one of the most ridiculous feuds in wrestling history. Over the course of it, we found out that Abyss had shot his own father, then later found out his mother shot his father and Abyss took the heat and went to prison for it. 

    Oh, and Sting wanted to fight for Abyss' redemption or his soul or something. 

    The two decided to duel in a casket match, but not just any casket match—a Last Rites match. It was the same concept, except that the casket had to be lowered from the ceiling. 

    What we then witnessed was two men hitting each over the back with the aforementioned fake tombstones and bleeding like crazy. It was a train wreck that was impossible to look away from.

    The fans were so entranced with what they saw that they chanted in unison after the match. Was it "this is awesome?"

    Nope, it was, "Fire Russo!"

    You know, that doesn't have a bad ring to it. Too bad it was years later before it actually happened.

Abdullah the Butcher Is Electrified

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    Hey kids, want to watch a man die on live TV?

    Well then, check out WCW's Electric Chair Match!

    "An electric chair match?" you may ask, "Why that sounds pretty stupid!"

    Yes, yes it was. 

    The match consisted of Sting, El Gigante and the Steiner Brothers taking on Vader, Cactus Jack, Abdullah the Butcher and The Diamond Studd (better known as Scott Hall).

    So, besides Gigante, there was actually some pretty good talent involved. It should have been a fun brawl.

    No. No it was not.

    It was a long, drawn-out disaster that ended with murder. Abdullah the Butcher was the unfortunate victim to sit on the electric chair, and his own partner, Cactus Jack, pulled the switch.

    Fire and sparks blasted everywhere with poor Abdullah perishing in front of our very eyes. Fans were understandably traumatized, mainly by how awful it was. Oh, and did I mention that this match went on first? What could possibly follow it?

    After the match, a group of EMTs (for some reason also dressed up for Halloween, which is kind of unprofessional) had to carry his body out of the arena. Somehow he survived and is still around to this day.

    Fans often wish WWE would bring back the Wargames match for an event, but shockingly, no one is clamoring for the return of the Electric Chair Match.

ECW Monster Mash Battle Royal

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    Everyone loves the Halloween classic "The Monster Mash."

    Nobody loves the Halloween horror that was known as The Monster Mash Battle Royal. Poor Bobby "Boris" Pickett, he'd be rolling over in his grave if he had to see Big Daddy V try to fit into that singlet. 

    Now fans recall that WWE's version of ECW bared little resemblance to the glory days, but this was just ridiculous. 

    To celebrate Halloween, WWE decorated the entrance way with ghosts and cobwebs. That wasn't nearly as scary as the in-ring action with The Great Khali, Big Daddy V, Mark Henry and Kane duking it out. With the slow-paced action and ridiculous setup, no fun at all was had that Halloween night. 

    It was like getting a toothbrush from your neighbor while trick-or-treating, or having them just kick you in the stomach instead. 

    If you're brave enough to watch this match, you may just lose your sanity...and your lunch.


    For more Halloween fun, check out my entry last year on the Top 25 Most Terrifying Wrestlers of all time