Welcome to another edition of The Onion Bag, your top source for weird and wonderful stories from world football.
First up, Patrice Evra has some explaining to do after he called Bixente Lizarazu and a panel of French football pundits "tramps" before dropping a bombshell about his Manchester United future.
Maradona has also been running his mouth this week, offering some thoughts in the direction of his old Brazilian nemesis, Pele.
Cristiano Ronaldo has also made headlines in Spain for his decision to invest in his own Cryotherapy chamber.
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