Sports Lists

Cleveland Browns Fan Begs for a New Quarterback in Hilarious Craigslist Ad

Gabe ZaldivarPop Culture Lead WriterOctober 17, 2013

It's about that time of the season for Cleveland Browns fans to plead with the football gods, and anyone who will listen, really, for a new quarterback.

Yes, they have 30-year-old, second-year signal-caller Brandon Weeden at the helm, but let's just say he's not cutting it. Taking that a step further, one might make a hilarious, albeit painful, Craigslist ad begging for a signal-caller like the following Browns fan did. 

Yahoo! Sports' Frank Schwab spotted the latest fan hilarity coming from Cleveland, and it's really rather simple: a fan hopped on Craigslist and posted an ad, a portion of which is posted below: 

Hello, and thanks for reading.
Have you played pro football? College ball? Highschool? Pee-wee? 
Have you played Madden before? 
Do you sort of kind of know some of the rules of football? If yes keep reading. If no...well also keep reading! We will take ANYONE. This could turn into a regular gig for the right person.

Poor bloke. As we well know, the position of Browns quarterback is never a "regular gig," no matter how promising the applicant might look. 

CLEVELAND, OH - OCTOBER 13: Quarterback Brandon Weeden #3 of the Cleveland Browns is sacked by defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh #90 of the Detroit Lions during the second half at FirstEnergy Stadium on October 13, 2013 in Cleveland, Ohio. The Lions defeated
Jason Miller/Getty Images

Here is a snippet of the rest of the heartbroken fan's diatribe: 

Here's the thing...our defense is sick nasty, but we've got problems under center...well one problem. Brandon Weeden. If you're sick of seeing desperation heaves to the sidelines, countless sacks after superb coverage, and underhanded lightly tossed interceptions in the 4th quarter then please come apply! If you can throw a ball, come apply! If you can't, come anyway! We can teach you the basics....throwing the ball to the guy who has the same color shirt as you. Throwing the ball reasonably close to a receiver that's WIDE OPEN, throwing the ball more than 3 yards on 3rd and 16. Think you got what it takes? Come on down! You're the next contestant on Cleveland Quarterbacks! 
Please no redheads, people named Brett, or any U. Of Florida alum.

Even the most jaded Browns fan can chuckle at that one. 

This is hardly the first time a Browns fan has reached for the comforting embrace of humor. The most famous might be the ever-growing list of names on this fan's Browns jersey, via Brokawinc's Instagram feed

Photo Credit: brokawinc Instagram
Photo Credit: brokawinc Instagram

From the land of the moribund, Gregg Rosenthal of NFL.com reported back in July that the newly departed Scott E. Entsminger, a lifelong Browns fan, had the following inserted into his obituary (via The Columbus Dispatch): "He respectfully requests six Cleveland Browns pall bearers so the Browns can let him down one last time." 

Ouch. 

As for Weeden, things have been rocky since returning to action. The team won two games with 28-year-old Brian Hoyer under center, but lost the quarterback in his third start when he injured his knee against the Bills

After a surprising resurgence and a 3-2 record, the Browns lost 31-17 last week to the Detroit Lions. 

As Schwab reminds, Weeden did his part to make the loss a memorable one, tossing a lazy pass that was easily intercepted in the fourth quarter. 

He was sacked twice, threw two picks and generally lost the faith of Browns fans. He also managed to inspire one particularly downtrodden fan to write one of the funnier Craigslist ads we have seen in some time. 

Don't ever call Weeden worthless; it turns out he is quite the muse. 

 

Hit me up on Twitter


Where can I comment?

Stay on your game

Latest news, insights, and forecasts on your teams across leagues.

Choose Teams
Get it on the App StoreGet it on Google Play

Real-time news for your teams right on your mobile device.

Download
Copyright © 2017 Bleacher Report, Inc. Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. All Rights Reserved. BleacherReport.com is part of Bleacher Report – Turner Sports Network, part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Network. Certain photos copyright © 2017 Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Getty Images is strictly prohibited. AdChoices