It's about that time of the season for Cleveland Browns fans to plead with the football gods, and anyone who will listen, really, for a new quarterback.
Yes, they have 30-year-old, second-year signal-caller Brandon Weeden at the helm, but let's just say he's not cutting it. Taking that a step further, one might make a hilarious, albeit painful, Craigslist ad begging for a signal-caller like the following Browns fan did.
Hello, and thanks for reading.
Have you played pro football? College ball? Highschool? Pee-wee?
Have you played Madden before?
Do you sort of kind of know some of the rules of football? If yes keep reading. If no...well also keep reading! We will take ANYONE. This could turn into a regular gig for the right person.
Poor bloke. As we well know, the position of Browns quarterback is never a "regular gig," no matter how promising the applicant might look.
Here is a snippet of the rest of the heartbroken fan's diatribe:
Here's the thing...our defense is sick nasty, but we've got problems under center...well one problem. Brandon Weeden. If you're sick of seeing desperation heaves to the sidelines, countless sacks after superb coverage, and underhanded lightly tossed interceptions in the 4th quarter then please come apply! If you can throw a ball, come apply! If you can't, come anyway! We can teach you the basics....throwing the ball to the guy who has the same color shirt as you. Throwing the ball reasonably close to a receiver that's WIDE OPEN, throwing the ball more than 3 yards on 3rd and 16. Think you got what it takes? Come on down! You're the next contestant on Cleveland Quarterbacks!
Please no redheads, people named Brett, or any U. Of Florida alum.
Even the most jaded Browns fan can chuckle at that one.
This is hardly the first time a Browns fan has reached for the comforting embrace of humor. The most famous might be the ever-growing list of names on this fan's Browns jersey, via Brokawinc's Instagram feed.
From the land of the moribund, Gregg Rosenthal of NFL.com reported back in July that the newly departed Scott E. Entsminger, a lifelong Browns fan, had the following inserted into his obituary (via The Columbus Dispatch): "He respectfully requests six Cleveland Browns pall bearers so the Browns can let him down one last time."
As for Weeden, things have been rocky since returning to action. The team won two games with 28-year-old Brian Hoyer under center, but lost the quarterback in his third start when he injured his knee against the Bills.
After a surprising resurgence and a 3-2 record, the Browns lost 31-17 last week to the Detroit Lions.
He was sacked twice, threw two picks and generally lost the faith of Browns fans. He also managed to inspire one particularly downtrodden fan to write one of the funnier Craigslist ads we have seen in some time.
Don't ever call Weeden worthless; it turns out he is quite the muse.
Hit me up on Twitter:
Like the new article format? Send us feedback!