Hidden Gems: The Key to the 2008 NFL Draft

With all the other Mock Drafts out there, I figured that I would give my two cents on who would go where in this year's draft.

Miami - Matt Ryan. Despite contract negotiations with Jake Long, the Dolphins decide to take Matt Ryan to fill the spot of aging QB John Beck.

St. Louis - Jake Long. The Rams jump on Long, even though the QB he'll be protecting might complete more passes to the defense this year.

Atlanta - Aquib Talib. Atlanta fans are disgusted by the fact that Arthur Blank just got sweet talked by another standout druggie.

Oakland - Darren McFadden. This marks the first time the Raiders have done anything right the past five years.

Kansas City - Joe Flacco. In a panic-stricken reaction Matt Ryan being off the board, Herm Edwards persuades his scouts that Flacco is the next big thing.

New York Jets - Forfeited. In an attempt at payback, the Jets are caught filming Patriot execs speaking about potential picks and are forced to give up their pick. 

New England (from San Francisco) - Chuck Norris. At first they ponder trading the pick back to San Francisco for tapes of Jason Taylor's new footwork on "Dancing With The Stars," but decide that Chuck Norris could easily roundhouse kick Roger Goodell into letting them tape for themselves.

Baltimore - Ryan Clady. The Ravens become the first team to actually draft a player they need, and will settle for another fifth or sixth round quarterback.

Cincinnati - Mike Jenkins. Jenkins immediately demands to be traded and is dealt to the AFL with his predecessor Chad Johnson.

You can read what you want into the following picks, but the really important ones are explained.

New Orleans - Jonathan Stewart

Buffalo - Brian Brohm. The upper echelon of the Bills organization made a pact with the devil to make sure that J.P. Losman never gets a chance to play.

Denver - Arthur Carmody IV. They panicked when they found out Mike Vanderjagt was coming to kick their field goals. 

Carolina - Christopher Williams 

Chicago - Vernon Gholston. They really like to show their commitment to Rex.

Detroit - Limas Sweed

Arizona - Sedrick Ellis. Matt Leinart told them he was just as good at getting caught at high school parties too.

Minnesota - Chad Henne. They finally decide Tarvaris Jackson wasn't the answer.

Houston - Rashard Mendenhall

Philadelphia - Dominique Rogers-Cromartie. He'll get booed by the Philadelphia faithful, that is, until they realize he was actually a decent pick.

Tampa Bay - Phillip Merling

Washington - Chris Long. Nobody else realized he slipped this far. Well, nobody other than daddy and Brady Quinn.

Dallas (from Cleveland) - Pacman Jones, despite failed attempts at reinstatement, decides to throw his name into the draft pool, and Dallas couldn't be more thrilled.

Pittsburgh - Samuel Baker

Tennessee - Derrick Harvey

Seattle - Antoine Cason

Jacksonville - Leodis McKelvin

San Diego - Malcolm Kelley

Dallas - Kevin Smith

San Francisco (from Indy) - Colt Brennan, They just like QB's from non-BCS conferences.

Green Bay - Felix Jones, The Packers decided they needed another running back to try to find their own two-headed monster, since four of the five they tried last year didn't work.

New York Giants - Chilo Rachal, The Giants decided they didn't have enough strange names already.