We have a couple of knuckleheaded injuries from the NBA and a mayoral candidate who seems to think trolling Eli Manning might help his cause, but Rick Reilly may have taken this week's awful tasting cake.
If you are a fan of unfortunate moments, horrible decisions and rather miserable missteps, you have come to the right place.
Here is another weekly installment of all that is wrong with the sports world.
From things that will make you chuckle to others that might make you cringe, we have you covered. Of course, we can't be as omnipresent as we would like, so feel free to toss some annoying candidates into the comments section below.
Don't adjust your computers or smartphones, because according to The Big Lead's Stephen Douglas, this is a very real report of a school banning some sports equipment.
CBS New York has more in its report, which states Weber Middle School in Port Washington has nixed, "footballs, baseballs, lacrosse balls, or anything that might hurt someone on school grounds."
Kids now need supervision when performing cartwheels and playing tag as well.
The best part is footballs are now replaced by Nerf balls, as if that is what will keep kids from hurting themselves. I assume that one day equipment like the monkey bars will be replaced by one big room of pillows.
Actually, that sounds pretty nice.
Wanna get away?
The Kings finally got their first home win of the season against Ottawa on Wednesday, but their home opener against the New York Rangers didn't go quite as well.
The Kings lost, 3-1, and goalie Jonathan Quick suffered one of the more humbling moments of his career.
Ryan McDonagh slaps the puck towards Quick who seems to lose his stick, and the puck subsequently ricochets off him and into goal.
Now all our days seem better by comparison.
Usually relegated to baseball players, the peculiar-injury bug nipped at a couple of NBA players recently.
The video posted shows Miami Heat's Michael Beasley shooting a horrible shot and running up the court. So far, there is nothing all that weird going on.
You will notice that he then punches himself in the head at the end of the video. According to Joseph Goodman of the Miami Herald, Beasley needed some treatment because of those self-imposed punches.
Upset with himself over a mistake, Beasley started punching himself in the head while running back on defense. He punched himself so hard that he needed treatment after the game from the Heat's trainer. Steel compresses (like the ones cut doctors use in boxing) were applied to Beasley's brow in the locker room.
Easy, fella. It's the preseason.
Unfortunately, that wasn't the only weird injury, because the Detroit Piston's Rodney Stuckey managed to break his thumb while operating a car door.
Yup, according to The Detroit Free Press, the guard will need surgery after, "his thumb was caught inside the door jamb of his vehicle Wednesday afternoon."
We like to keep things short and sweet in this fun little breakdown of the week's most miserable characters, but you might want to read up further on Reilly's potentially tremendous gaffe in our breakdown linked here.
For those who enjoy the tl;dr version, we will sum up here.
Reilly wrote an expansive ESPN column on Sept. 18 defending the Washington Redskins' team name. Key in his defense was a quote from his father-in-law who, according to Reilly, stated, "The whole issue is so silly to me."
Bob Burns, who is also a Blackfeet elder, continued, "The name just doesn't bother me much. It's an issue that shouldn't be an issue, not with all the problems we've got in this country."
Well, it seems Burns never said all that. Reilly's father-in-law, in an article written on Indian Country Today Media Network, stated in no uncertain terms that Reilly misquoted him, and he is indeed offended by the Redskins name.
Reilly would later come out with a statement that issues he felt he quoted accurately. As of this writing, the article still maintains the original, and according to Burns, incorrect quote.
Eli Manning is bad this season. It would be hard to find any man, woman or Manning family member who would dispute that.
However, the fact New Jersey mayoral candidate Tim Occhipinti decided to troll the Giants quarterback with an open letter to Peyton Manning is a tad bit worse.
The Hudson Reporter has the full letter, which seems to be Occhipinti's response to Manning endorsing rival candidate and current mayor Dawn Zimmer.
Here is but a taste of his prose.
In the past few weeks since baby brother agreed to throw his hat into Hoboken politics, and agreed to attend our opponent’s fundraiser; the Giants have lost every game, and Eli has had a very tough go of it.
We are not sure whether it’s the 14 sacks he has endured that made his off the field political decision-making questionable –or if the 9 interceptions and 2 fumbles this year show that he is making questionable decisions on and off the field.
What we do know is that concentrating on football alone could help our team get back on track.
One bad season and the guy running for mayor wants to forget all about those two Super Bowl wins. Someone please send Manning a hug now, because he needs one.
OK, two of the biggest names in sport aren't going around stuffing pizza down kids' throats. Although, according to a recent study, they might as well be.
The American Academy of Pediatrics published a report entitled, "Athlete Endorsements in Food Marketing." The most intriguing portion states the following:
Seventy-nine percent of the 62 food products in athlete-endorsed advertisements were energy-dense and nutrient-poor, and 93.4% of the 46 advertised beverages had 100% of calories from added sugar. Peyton Manning (professional American football player) and LeBron James (professional basketball player) had the most endorsements for energy-dense, nutrient-poor products. Adolescents saw the most television commercials that featured athlete endorsements of food.
Awful Awards abound for all of us on this one. Athletes could hype healthy, parents could choose far more wisely at the market and I could put this delicious burrito down while working.
Now, I said I could.