College Football's Bottom Ten: Mascots

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MINNEAPOLIS - MARCH 20: RoMo, the mascot of the Robert Morris Colonials performs against the Michigan State Spartans during the first round of the NCAA Division I Men's Basketball Tournament at the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome on March 20, 2009 in Minnea

Maybe I am pessimistic, maybe I am just plain mean. Whatever the case may be, I find it much more interesting to list the worst rather than the best.

Therefore, I have come up with a five-part series of my personal attacks and insults to the worst of college football.

OK, I'll be lax on the insults and attacks.

Let us dwell for a moment on the best that college football has to offer. There's Aubie the Tiger, The West Virginia Mountaineer, Chief Osceola, and UGA, of course.

However, there are some teams that have some mascots that should never be seen.

Why dress these cheerleaders in hot outfits unless you play somewhere that it is cold?

And now, for the second part of my series, I give you the 10 worst mascots in the NCAA.

10. Charlie Cardinal (Ball State)

Shall we be honest here? Charlie Cardinal is not a mascot, he's a cheerleader. Charlie even had to be named with a bi-gender name! This little girl's expression says it all, "Those teeth are way too big!"

Sorry, Charlie, you are on the worst list.

And...BOOM goes the dynamite.

9. Lil Red (Nebraska)

Lil Red is not Nebraska's premier mascot. He was brought in during the early '90s. Apparently Herbie Husker was not child-friendly?

Nonetheless, Lil Red is not even a mascot. He is a blow-up plastic...thing.

However, he can bounce on his head, so he's not all that bad.

8. Boomer and Sooner (Oklahoma)

OK, so Boomer and Sooner are not exactly Oklahoma's premier mascots, either. They have a real Schooner. That is why these two buffoons should be left in the stables.

Chant and sing it all you like, but don't make us watch these wannabe's walk on the hallowed OU grounds.

7. Big Al (Alabama)

NEW ORLEANS - MARCH 13: University of Alabama Crimson Tide mascot, Big Al, entertains the audience during an intermission in the SEC Men's Basketball Tournament against the Vanderbilt University Commodores at the Louisiana Superdome on March 13, 2003 in

I know that I am about to be blasted by the Alabama faithful. Man, do they love some Big Al. However, what in the Sam Hill does an elephant have to do with a natural tidal occurrence?

You are the Crimson Tide, I do not care what Atlanta Journal-Constitution writers say about your varsity squad when they come out of the locker rooms.

6. Big Red (Western Kentucky)

PORTLAND, OR - MARCH 21: The Western Kentucky Hilltoppers mascot on the court during a break in the action against the Gonzaga Bulldogs during the second round of the NCAA Division I Men's Basketball Tournament at the Rose Garden on March 21, 2009 in Por

Someone is going to think I just have a grudge against Western Kentucky. In fact, I do not. However, I do have a grudge against big blobs of red running around sporting events.

What is this thing? Big Red does not help me figure that out. Is it a hill? I think it is a hill with eyes. Creepy, much?

5. Otto the Orange (Syracuse)

SYRACUSE, NY - JANUARY 24: Otto the Orange, the Syracuse Orangemen mascot performs during the game against the Pittsburgh Panthers on January 24, 2004 at the Carrier Dome in Syracuse, New York. Pitt defeated the Orangeman 66-45. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty

Maybe the best thing that could have happened to Syracuse was that Greg Paulus joined the football team. Now people will be making fun of him instead of the Kool-Aid guy.

Honestly, an Orange. For, not only, a team name, but a mascot.

Please don't citric acid my team into submission!

4. Superfrog the Horned Frog (TCU)

DALLAS - NOVEMBER 29: SuperFrog, the mascot of the Texas Christian University Horned Frogs, on the field during the game against the Southern Methodist University Mustangs on November 29, 2003 at Gerald J. Ford Stadium in Dallas, Texas. TCU won 20-13. (P

If this thing did not come right out of an anime cartoon, I will kiss your foot. Pokemon beware, Superfrog is coming to get you.

He is, by far, the horniest thing to hit TCU in a while, though.

3. Brutus (Ohio State)

COLUMBUS, OH - SEPTEMBER 06: Brutus,mascot of the Ohio State Buckeyes cheers during the game against the Ohio Bobcats at Ohio Stadium on September 6, 2008 in Columbus, Ohio. (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

Alright, Ohio State faithful. What in the world is this? He does not even remotely resemble the Popeye character, so why is he here?

Remember what a buckeye is? A tree. Not a guy with an oval head and circular nose and no teeth.

2. Sebastian (Miami FL)

CORAL GABLES, FL - OCTOBER 13: Sebastian the Ibis performs as the Miami Hurricanes take on the Georgia Tech Yellow Jacketsat the Orange Bowl on October 13, 2007 in Coral Gables, Florida. Georgia Tech defeated Miami 17-14. (Photo by Doug Benc/Getty Image

He is an Ibis. Whatever that is. Looks like a duck to me.

Again, has nothing to do with natural disasters. Plus this idiot will get you unsportsmanlike conduct penalties.

1. The Stanford Tree (Stanford)

LOS ANGELES - MARCH 13: The Stanford University Cardinal's Tree runs during an intermission in the Pac-10 Tournament against the University of Southern California Trojans at Staples Center on March 13, 2003 in Los Angeles, California. USC defeated Stanf

Seriously, was there any doubt? This mascot is a Christmas tree with a face. They could not handle just being a bird; no, they had to cut off the 's' and be a tree. An ugly tree, at that.

The mascot is not even a real mascot, he's part of the band. And that alone makes it the worst in the country!

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