Hulk Hogan: An Open Letter on Why You Need to Go Back to the WWE

Asif LalaniContributor IIOctober 9, 2013

Dear Hulk,

I would like to start by saying you were more than a pro wrestler to me growing up, you were a superhero. I watched No Holds Barred, Suburban Commando and almost Mr. Mom because of you. I lost at least two kindergarten friends by siding with you over Ultimate Warrior during your WrestleMania VI feud. You were THE man, and because of you I became a pro wrestling fan.

However, because of some of your choices over the years, you have lost much of your allure, and now that same wrestler I looked forward to watching inside the ring, I have no interest in seeing.

There may be light at the end of the tunnel. Reports have come out that your contract with TNA Wrestling has expired, though you are in negotiations to re-sign. Please don’t. Haven’t you already done enough damage to your name and place in professional wrestling? Is getting paid however much Dixie Carter can possibly pay you really worth having to go out there in the TNA arena in front of a group of 2,000 or so Universal Studio tourists and discussing how “Uninteresting Wrestler A, who is on his third gimmick in five months” is better than “Uninteresting Wrestler B, who is on his fourth gimmick in eight months”?

Come back to the WWE where you belong. Not as an on-air talent, but rather as an ambassador. Not Hollywood Hogan with that pudding on your face. Not “The Immortal” Hogan wearing that stupid, confusing, overly feminine boa. Come back as Hulk freakin’ Hogan. Have your “Hulk Hogan Day” on Monday Night Raw. Get re-introduced to your home. Let the WWE marketing machine do its thing. Just please stay out of the ring.

If both you and the WWE were smart, your role would be simple. Fly out to wherever they want you to go in the world and just talk WWE.

The WWE has been serious about looking to expand into international markets. Although your name within the U.S. may not hold the same weight, make no mistake, worldwide the name Hulk Hogan still holds major weight. TNA can’t afford to travel within the United States, let alone the world. You have no value there.

But what about the money, you ask? Once again, I do not have the slightest clue what Dixie could offer you, but she can’t offer you a Hulk Hogan rebirth. She can’t offer the merchandising and media associated with that. She can’t offer the long-term stability you need.

Chasing the quick dollar got you in the mess you are in. Chasing the quick dollar only got you into a reality show nightmare where you overexposed your extremely punchable son, no-talent daughter and mess of a now ex-wife. Chasing the dollar got you booted out of WWE. Chasing the dollar got you in pro wrestling purgatory, also known as TNA.

For the first time in a while, think about your marketability and legacy. WWE is where you belong, and no matter what issues you and Vince McMahon may have, if he can settle things with Bret Hart, Ultimate Warrior and Bruno Sammartino, things can be worked out with arguably his greatest superstar ever. Even with you not being associated with the company, one of WWE’s biggest marketing points regarding their new video game WWE 2K14 is having you in the game. You have an opportunity to repair a lot of damage that has been done, simply by thinking with your head and not your wallet. Please don’t screw it up.

Former Hulkamaniac,

Asif Lalani