Giant Athletes and Their Tiny WAGs
Want to see something silly?
From the land of big things coming in huge packages and opposites doing their best to attract comes this collection of big athletes and the tiny women they are dating.
The impetus behind such a wacky endeavor is the splendid news that Nashville star Hayden Panettiere and boxer Wladimir Klitschko are now engaged.
So I hope they take this collection of big dudes and small women as a wedding gift over the salad bowl we had our eyes on.
The first thing that comes to mind is, of course, I can't believe I haven't seen one minute of Nashville. The second is that we could stand to see some more size discrepancies up in here.
Well, here you go.
Andre Drummond and Jennette McCurdy
Photo Credit: Andre Drummond Instagram
Because we totally called the Detroit Pistons big man dating the girl from iCarly.
Well, that's what happened this past summer when the 7-footer started dating the 5'3" actress, according to a report from E! Online.
The two apparently met each other on social media sites, Instagram and Twitter. Now we have the cast and script for the next made-for-TV Nickelodeon movie.
Joe Flacco and Wife Dana
Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images
The Ravens quarterback is 6'6", while his wife, Dana, is 5'1"and adorable. Thanks to a comment from Kelly Ripa, we will never get a certain image out of our heads.
Pau Gasol and Silvia Lopez Castro
Photo Credit: Black Sports Online
We couldn't find an exact height for Pau Gasol's girlfriend, Silvia Lopez Castro. Using science, we have been able to hammer down that she is roughly taller than a sneaker and shorter than Yao Ming.
If you recall, Gasol suffered through some peculiar rumors that the two had split in 2011. Some people suggested that it may have had something to do with his shaky play at the time.
Per an ESPN report from 2011, Gasol stated all those rumors were false. This all explains that wide smile within sports' most sparse beard.
Peter Crouch and Abbey Clancy
Photo Credit: Abbey Clancy Twitter
I always thought Peter Crouch looked like one of those stilt walkers forced to play football. But I hardly feel bad for him, because the 6'7" Stoke City striker is married to lingerie model and all-around beautiful woman, Abbey Clancy.
The picture comes from Clancy's Twitter feed with the caption, "Two years married." The two are adorable, as is their daughter Sophia.
If you really want to see a size differential, take a gander at the wonderful image of Crouch leading his precious daughter around London via this Daily Mail link.
Shaquille O'Neal and Nicole "Hoopz" Alexander
Theo Wargo/Getty Images
Shaquille O'Neal is huge.
That's something that could go without being written, but we felt compelled to state the obvious when seeing the 7'1" former NBA star hold hands with his lovely 5'2" girlfriend and reality-TV star, Nicole "Hoopz" Alexander.
We imagine Shaq's days are now spent retrieving things from the top shelf at home.
Hayden Panettiere and Wladimir Klitschko
Issac Baldizon/Getty Images
As ABC News' Lesley Messer reported on Wednesday, boxer and actress decided to go ahead and get engaged already.
The two took some time off from each other back in 2011 but are now ready to get hitched. That's swell because Panettiere now has shoulders to sit on at sporting events so she can see all the action.
Dirk Nowitzki and Jessica Olsson
Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images
We imagine Jessica Olsson's day features epic piggy-back rides on Dirk Nowitzki's back and an ongoing discussion about Mark Cuban and what he's really like behind the scenes—at least that's what we would do.
More likely, she is busy taking care of their baby daughter, who was welcomed into the world this past summer, via The Dallas Morning News.
Shawn Bradley and Wife Annette
Photo Credit: KSL
To be fair, Shawn Bradley would have had to marry a palm tree or cell phone tower if he wanted to maintain a similar height with his wife.
The former NBA star is a whopping 7'6", dwarfing all around him. However, the couple is far more than a disproportionate duo.
Bradley and his wife, Annette, were profiled in a Sports Illustrated article in 2011, which featured their various missions like the one they shared with their four daughters at a leper colony in India.
Now what have you done today?
Andrei Kirilenko and Masha Lopatova
Photo Credit: Glamour
He's a 6'9" basketball player married to a shorter and, um, forgiving wife.
Russian pop singer Masha Lopatova has an unorthodox way of keeping her man happy. As has been widely reported, the diminutive singer is fine with Kirilenko straying once a year as long as she knows about it.
Guys, try to strike the same deal with your wives at your own peril.
Chris Bosh and Wife Adrienne
Photo Credit: Adrienne Bosh Twitter
Chris Bosh takes a lot of guff from fans for looking like a dinosaur, engaging in awkward celebrations and generally taking up a role as the Ringo Starr of the Heatles.
Well, we are above those references.
Instead, we want you to admire how nice the big man and his wife, Adrienne, clean up. Looking good, you two.