If you're reading this, a small part of your soul probably burns with a deep-seated hatred for the Oakland Raiders.
The rivalry between the Raiders and Kansas City Chiefs simultaneously serves as one of the ugliest and most beautiful examples of why sports are captivating. It's like a bulldog with emphysema.
If you file into Arrowhead this Sunday, you're bound to see someone with a faded, barbecue-stained Vanover jersey drunkenly shouting obscenities at a middle-aged man rocking an eyepatch and plus-sized Fisher Price spikes.
Initially, your intuition tells you to shout "earmuffs!" toward anyone less than a decade removed from owning a binky. But after you accept your declining faith in humanity, you realize that a self-loathing fraction of you kind of loves it.
Here are five bold predictions for Raid-uhsss Week (there won't be any Berman GIFs—promise).