Middle School Bans Footballs and Other Fun Things Because Kids Are Fragile

Gabe ZaldivarPop Culture Lead WriterOctober 8, 2013

Kids are wonderful, but injuries to kids are awful, so it's best to take all the fun away from them at recess. 

So goes the thinking of one Long Island middle school that may very well have kids spend their off times in padded rooms if they could get one big enough. 

We take that back, because padded rooms might be too dangerous. 

The Big Lead's Stephen Douglas happened upon a wild story that only seems like a ridiculous parody video. Judging from the report over at CBS New York, this peculiar report seems to be true. 

According to the website and the report from CBS 2's Kristine Johnson, officials from Weber Middle School in Port Washington have decided that some injuries they have seen at the school might be solved by taking away some of the sports equipment—and the ability to pull cartwheels as well. 

"...they have instituted a ban on footballs, baseballs, lacrosse balls, or anything that might hurt someone on school grounds."

One student proclaimed the obvious: Having things like footballs at recess is kind of a normal expectation for young kids. 

The report continues to state regular footballs will be replaced by the spongy Nerf balls instead. As for dangerous activities like cartwheels and (gasp) tag, they will be allowed to perform them as long as there is an adult watching. 

Now to be fair, Port Washington schools superintendent Kathleen Maloney explained that the decision was due to kids injuring themselves on the playground, which rings a bell when I come to think of all the bumps, bruises and scrapes suffered at recess back in the day. 

The report even quotes Dr. Salvatore Pardo, who states he has seen "head injuries, bumps, scrapes" and is worried about children getting concussions.

Now, if kids are really concussing one another on the playground over in this school district, something definitely needs to be done. However, exchanging a football for a Nerf ball doesn't seem like the answer.  

We can't help but expect CBS New York to come out and declare they were kidding and this is all one big jolly joke. 

Unfortunately, there seems to really be kids in Long Island who can't seem to play a game of tag without supervision. We assume Red Rover and Hide and Seek are completely out of the question for these children moving forward. 


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