Sports Fans Whose Teams Have Made Them Lose Their Minds
That's it—it's over. You're done with this.
There was a line in the sand and your team crossed it. You've been there through the worst times, but this is just a sick joke. It's like they're trying to lose just to spite you. Now you're scraping your scalp bloody and looking for the nearest way out. Not out of the stadium, mind you—out of this awful reality that is now your life.
Whoa there, pal. It's going to be okay. I know it doesn't feel like it, but things can always be worse. Don't believe me? Take a look at the following fans, who have been driven completely over the edge by their sports teams and have little to nothing to show for it.
This slideshow won't fix your problem, but it's always good to know you're not the craziest loon at the ballpark.
Texans Fans Pay $200 to Burn Matt Schaub Jersey Because They're Dumb
Instead of saving it for his children's college fund, using it on a car payment or giving to charity, one Houston Texans fan recently decided to spend $200 to burn a Matt Schaub jersey.
But that's what makes America what it is, right? If you're an American citizen and you want to grossly overreact to a crappy run by a mediocre quarterback, you're free to do so. Sigh.
Washington State Fan Drowns His Sorrows in Popcorn
Doff your caps, sports fans. You're looking at an American legend.
We don't know who he is or where he's from, but a star was born the moment this Washington State fan began pouring popcorn haphazardly into his face. The special moment occurred at the end of a 55-17 blowout to Stanford, and this sad Cougars fan had nothing but a sleeve of crackly butter to comfort him.
Somehow, this grown man sitting in the rain and drowning his sorrows in buttery kernels manages to capture the feelings of every fan who's ever sat through the worst game their team has ever played.
Image via Gifulmination.com
Dallas Cowboys Fan Blows Up Tony Romo Jersey
Remember that time Tony Romo threw a huge interception in the fourth quarter and ruined a Cowboys victory? So does everyone else.
The dagger pick is a mainstay in Romo's arsenal, and its gotten to the point that Cowboys fans can feel it in the air like an oncoming storm. One particular Dallas fan has had enough of the daggers, and decided to rid himself of his Tony Romo jersey by shooting it to high heaven.
Jags Fans Are Tebow or Bust
They're flying billboards and rallying in the parking lot at EverBank Field, all in the name of bringing Tim Tebow to town.
It sounds like an alternate universe where up is down and Tebow is good, but it's just Jacksonville, Florida—the place where NFL fans have long since passed the point of desperation.
Things have devolved to the point where Jags fans are a Chad Henne injury away from offering a living sacrifice to their front office, and a group has been meeting the stadium parking lot every Monday night to lobby the franchise to sign Tebow.
'Choke on Baby Food': A USC Fan Rant
Warning: Video contains some NSFW language.
Losing at home is the worst, but losing a home opener to Washington State? Well, that drove one USC fan into a babbling, quasi coherent rage.
This man unleashed (or tried to unleash) on the team's awful start, and somehow managed to work apple sauce, urine and baby food into his rant. On another note, this man has fingernails like a bobcat, and should probably spend some time fixing that.
Image via @Jonathon Mathis
While the Redskins Fan Gently Weeps
Well, it's less of a weeping, and more like a series of hard-charging sobs.
This lifelong Redskins fan took off work and sat through an entire morning of training camp to get one lousy, stinking autograph—to no avail. None of the players came to "her side," which begs the question: Where was her side?
Are the Redskins really a bunch of jerks, or was this woman standing outside the far fence by the equipment shed? Either way, not getting an autograph made her the saddest fan of all fans.
Image via tumblr.com
Eagles Fan Is Ready to End It All
You can scalp your tickets and save yourself the anguish, or you can go to the game and wildly pantomime hanging yourself.
The choice was obvious for one intrepid Eagles fan, who opted for the imaginary noose after his team went down eight points to the Carolina Panthers. It was the second quarter.
Gators Fan Throws Up the 'U'
What...is going on here?
Either someone lost a bet, or this Gator fan's smile is actually the rictus of early-onset dementia. Either way, it's spooky and wrong on many levels.
One Last Ditch Effort in Cleveland
Desperation is a stinky cologne, and this Cleveland fan was soaked to the shoulders in it when he ran on the court at a Heat-Cavaliers game in March.
The fan wore a shirt that said "We Miss You, 2014 Come Back," and implored his idol to return to Cleveland before being carried off the court by security. Score another for LeBron, who's probably tired of sad whack-jobs from Cleveland calling late in the night and hanging up.
The Canuck Clutch
Behold, Le Frustrated Vancouver fan.
To his credit, he isn't Le Angry Canucks fan, who reacts to negative stimuli by flipping a car and burning someone else's property.
Germany Fan Fights off the Sad Voices Inside His Head
So talented, and so endlessly disappointing.
Germany's national team was looking to add a fourth World Cup to their name in 2010, only to be bounced in the semifinals by eventual champion Spain. The 1-0 score was a world-shaker for Germany fans, who were hoping to see their team go all the way for the first time since 1990.
One fan in particular appeared to be fighting with the ghosts inside his head, which we can only assume were speaking in Spanish.
Georgia Fan Cries on Radio
This Georgia fan loves his Dawgs, but he'll be damned if he's going to lose the first game of the season and go to sleep with a dry pillow.
One Bulldogs fan took UGA's season opening loss to Clemson particularly hard, and he called in to an Atlanta late night sports radio show in order to vent his frustration over UGA's head coach Mark Richt. What began as trembling frustration ended up a sobbing meltdown over the future of the program.
For context, Georgia lost an away game to a No. 8 ranked Clemson squad. I guess that's the end of the world for some people.
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