Pirates Playing Right into America's Heart with Energetic Style

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Pirates Playing Right into America's Heart with Energetic Style
Justin K. Aller/Getty Images

PITTSBURGH – Listen, America. Considering your alleged team scored 48 points in a football game and still couldn't win, it might be time to consider permanent abandonment due to excessive emotional distress. For all those new sporting orphans, fear not. There is a team yearning to capture your heart.

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