Preseason Bong Hits With Kirk Herbstreit

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Preseason Bong Hits With Kirk Herbstreit

Lighter? Check. Peyote? Check. List-makin' pen? Double check! LET'S DO THIS!

Ol' Kirk Herbstreit handed out the Herbies today; let's run down his list:

    • Travis Beckum is rated as the fourth-best tight end nationwide.

    • Jonathan Casillas finds his way to number five on the outside linebackers list, subtitled "all over the field."

    • John Clay is on the Top True Freshmen list.

    • Bret Bielema is rated the seventh-best Game Day coach. (Read that, Nittany Lions? People LOVE that clock-killing maneuver. LOVE. IT.)

Not bad, eh? A little love for the Badgers.

Except ...

    • P.J. Hill doesn't crack the top 12 for running backs. Don't worry Kirk, no need to put the Big Ten's leading rusher for 2006 on your list!

    • Anthony Morelli is projected to be the most improved QB in the game. By itself, not a bad thing to say, but ...

    • Pick to win the Big Ten: Penn State. Um, great. Sez Herb: "If Anthony Morelli plays the way he did in the Outback Bowl, the Lions are BCS bowl bound." Big "if" there, bucko.

    • Sleeper pick to with the Big Ten: Iowa. Ohhhhh...kayyy??? Here's the rationale: They don't play Michigan or Ohio State, and they're "flying under the radar." Why didn't I think of that!?

    • Wisconsin doesn't crack the top-10 Game Day Locations. Herbstreit puts Ohio State at number one (I wonder why?), and includes Iowa (!?) on the list. I've been to Iowa on game day, and let me tell you: It's no Madison, WI. Hell, it's not even Ann Arbor. Iowa City is definitely in the bottom half of football destinations in the Big Ten, and it's certainly not number eight in the nation.

Finally, Wisconsin doesn't crack the top-five student sections—and although we're a loud and obnoxious bunch, I agree in this case. See the rationale in the 2005 Herbies:

Wisconsin has always been one of my favorite places, but it lost serious points lately. Lighten up on the beer bongs. Have a little more respect for your opponents; and remember, there are kids around, too, so maybe yelling profanities in every other chant isn't such a good idea.

And that's not to mention the mild-mannered, generally noncontroversial Chris Fowler's take (from 2004):

Writing to UW students, he said, “You guys are great. For energy, boisterousness, originality, you get A’s...But the constant, collective F-bombs are lame and tired...(and) it’s beneath you.”

Fowler also criticized compact discs thrown by some students during the game, as well as their tardiness to the game versus Penn State Saturday.

“The students got an 'F' for punctuality. The (student) section was about 20 percent full at kickoff!” Fowler wrote, adding, although seats filled to capacity quickly, it was not good enough for the undefeated Badgers’ Big Ten opener on national television.

“Be there on time! The beer bong will still be sitting there when you get back after the game,” he continued.

Fowler's right—it IS beneath us. Badgers are way smarter and way classier than constant F-bombs. It's simply embarrassing.

I love a loud football crowd. I love taunting the opponents. I love well-channeled malice, used to create an intimidating atmosphere.

But I don't love swearing just to swear, and I don't love the attitude that "We party so much that we CAN'T be on time for the game!!!"

Screw that. Wake up 15 minutes earlier and get yourself to your seat on time for kickoff.

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