Mocking the draft
Since the lottery results have been announced, I have been craving Mocks. Not the standard Chad Ford consensus mock, but a mock that fits players into a system and unapologetically hypes or just ignores players for the stupid reason that I don't like them.
This will hopefully be that draft. All picks are based on the thought that there will be no trades.
Introducing Your LA Clippers
Just when Clipper fans thought their luck was changing, they remember that they go for the Clippers, possibly the worst franchise in sport. The only NBA team who's supporters wouldn't be shocked if their club lost to a D League team.
Just like when he voted Robin Lopez to the rookie first team, Mike Dunlevely manages to screw up a can't miss pick, and takes unlikely second rounder Taylor Griffin with the first pick of the 2009 NBA draft.
Just joking. I don't think even the Clippers could make an error that big, so Blake goes No 1.
Now Memphis is stuck. Do they take the Spanish Troy Bolton, officially ending the Mike Clonley era, or do they go big?
Like many a team before them have done, the Grizzlies go big with the second pick choosing Jordan Hill.
Ok So were not the sonics anymore Select
The Thunder. Seriously what kind of name is that? Arena league?
They pick Hasheem Thabeet. What do they see in him? Apart from a 7'3'' frame?
They see pride, power, and a bad ass man who don't take no "stuff" from nobody. except those free Nike's.
Sacramento can't believe their luck when Ricky Rubio falls to them at four, but with the Kings current financial situation it doesn't matter as they can't afford his euro buyout.
Ricky doesn't come to the US until the Kings are bought out by Danny Glover and moved to Anaheim.
They make the playoffs in their first season due to curious refereeing decisions, increased production from role players, and the coach getting advice from kids sitting behind the bench.
Washington Select Tyreke Evans
With Agent Zero pushing the edge of the scalpel, Washington need a combo guard, to be his wingman. This pick moves Washington into second behind the Chicago bulls for most popular team in Memphis.
When the Sports Guy takes over as GM, possibly because no one else wanted it. He pledges change. Keeping his word the Timberwolves don't trade the shooting guard they draft for a 6'10'' forward, and James Harden is welcomed to Minnesota.
The Golden State tollbooths select
The Warriors decide to take another 6'10'' forward to keep Anthony Randolph's bench spot warm. Earl Clark has been waiting for the opportunity to take on LeBron in a battle for the title of who looks better with their shirt off.
New York Select
The Knicks decide to take a guy who saw the Globe to harlem. Brandon jennings returns from italy to play for Mike D'Antoni in New York
Toronto Raptors select
Air Canada returns with the latest high-flying shooting guard DeMar DeRozen. Not only a perfect fit in an uptempo offense, but apparently learned how to use his athletic talents to play defense while at USC. Just like OJ Mayo.
Does it really matter? They're way over the cap and are going to be in the lottery next year anyway.
The Bucks decide to find a replacement to Michael Redd in Duke guard Gerald Henderson
New Jersey Select
The little engine that could. Stephen Curry has unlimited range on his jumpshot. It might help get LeBron to Brooklyn, if he can shoot from the stands over the backboard that is. H.O.R.S.E could take a while
Charlotte head of basket ball operations Michael Jordan takes Wayne Ellington. At pick No. 12. Euro star Bugs Bunny was already off the board.
Jordan was heard saying "we really wanted Bugs, but I guess 12 just wasn't high enough to get a player of his caliber. Luckily we were able to get Wayne Ellington, who played his college ball just up the road at UNC. Shooting guards who win a title there normally end up OK."
The GM who can tell the difference between Chase Budigner and Larry Bird. Indiana GM Larry Bird, picks Ty Lawson because both their first names end in the letter Y
Phoenix needs players with heart and they don't come much bigger than Jonny Flynn.
The last time anyone in Phoenix showed that much heart was when Shaq hit the buffet for six extra servings.
Detroit use their pick on Israeli SF Omri Casspi. Picking a hyped forward from a strange country. What could go wrong?
Bill Paxton loves Final 4 forwards with energy. So do the ladies, (shout out to Jokim Noah)
Dejaun Blair adds toughness.
Chase becomes the only person on this Philly team who knows how to hit a jump shot
The T wolves continue to upgrade their wings with James Johnson.
Finally decide to take a point guard, though it's not like they passed on anyone good.
Eric Maynor take a bow.
Now that Boozer is healthy the Jazz need a PF who displays leadership and heart, but decide to settle for Gani Lawal's potential.
New Orleans Select
The Hornets finally give CP3 a holiday. Jrue that is, perfect combo guard to either play with or behind Chris Paul.
Anaheim Kings Select
The final position the Kings need to add to is Small forward, so at this stage they take Sam Young.
After finding out he was going to anaheim he was heard saying " D'mn Im Getting to Old For this S***
The Blazers add some height and rebounding from Taj Gibson.
With Mills OKC adds lightning to Thabeets Thunder. Mills is also a good outside shooter.
The Bulls decide to gamble on a second big man in BJ Mullens that could eventually replace Brad Miller.
Decide to get a backup PG, Darren Collison.
Add PG Jeff Teague.
LA Lakers select
The Lakers look to add toughness and professionalism so Tyler Hansbrough beats out Nathan Scott with a coin toss
Cleveland find a back up to Lebron with local Boy Derrick Brown.