OK, we all know the joke here: the Dolphins played so badly on Monday that I felt like crying, so I put on some Drake.
In all seriousness, I'm a fan of this video as a long time fan of the show Miami Vice (not the bad 2006 Collin Ferrell movie). It felt like an episode of Vice, all that was missing was Don Johnson, Philip Michael Thomas, and these credits to end the show.
In the video, Aubrey Graham managed to take it back to the 1980s. The hope is that the Miami Dolphins can do the same this season, specifically 1984.
Anyways, onto this week's picks.
Lines provided by Yahoo Sports.
HOME TEAM IN CAPS
Buffalo (+3.5) over Cleveland
So this game might not be as bad as we first thought when we saw it on the schedule. I take Buffalo in a close one though, they are the better overall team.
NOTE: This piece was to be published on Thursday morning. Sadly, our handsome writer's internet went out due to a Wednesday night rain storm, not coming back until Thursday evening. I promise you, he picked Buffalo prior to the game, and to add validity to that, Cleveland wound up beating them, so there's that.
ST. LOUIS (-11) over Jacksonville
I really don't think the Rams are that good that they should be favored by 11 over any NFL team.
The Jacksonville Jaguars are NOT an NFL caliber team.
Kansas City (-2.5) over TENNESSEE
If Jake Locker were healthy, I'd take the Titans here.
NEW YORK GIANTS (-1) over Philadelphia
If the Giants are to get their first win of the season, here's where it happens.
MIAMI (-3) over Baltimore
A lot of people are talking about how Baltimore is going to be "fired up" after their loss to the Bills.
Do they really think the Dolphins won't be as fired up? Please.
INDIANAPOLIS (+1) over Seattle
Andrew Luck is great at home, Russell Wilson is average on the road. Advantage Luck here as the Colts hand Seattle their first loss of the season.
Detroit (+7) over GREEN BAY
The Lions look slightly better than the Packers to me this year, and can keep it within a touchdown in Green Bay.
In fact, I'd say the Lions' losing streak in Green Bay will end this week.
CINCINNATI (PK) over New England
The Patriots will lose on the road to a team Miami will beat at home. Don't go trolling Pats fans over that when it happens though, we're Dolphins fans. We have class.
New Orleans (PK) over CHICAGO
How is this a pick-em? Saints should be favored by three after factoring home field.
ARIZONA (+1.5) over Carolina
Home team pick here.
Denver (-7.5) over DALLAS
Broncos by 10 at minimum.
SAN FRANCISCO (-6.5) over Houston
I don't think the Texans are that good this year.
San Diego (-4.5) over OAKLAND
Extra Sunday Night Football! Thanks Baseball! Speaking of baseball, my quick picks: TB over BOS in 5, DET over OAK in 4, LAD over ATL in 5, STL over PIT in 4. I'll give you my LCS/World Series picks when we get to that point.
ATLANTA (-9.5) over New York Jets
This is the game where the Falcons take out their frustrations from a 1-3 start. Will it turn their season around? Not just yet, but it should get their confidence up a tad.
This Week: 0-1 (0-1 vs. Spread)
Last Week: 10-5 (10-5 vs. Spread)
Overall: 39-26 (30-29-4 vs. Spread).