Greetings ladies and gents, and welcome to the latest edition of the Onion Bag.
On today's show, we start by looking at the myriad misfortunes of Manchester United. New manager David Moyes claims he doesn't have enough superstars in his arsenal, while goalkeeper David De Gea has been accused of eating "too many tacos."
Over in Spain, Real Madrid fans have reacted to Carlo Ancelotti's underwhelming start by singing for the man they helped force out, Jose Mourinho. In Italy, meanwhile, Robinho has been causing quite a stir on his bicycle.
Take a look at the show, leave a comment below and remember to send your thoughts, comments, praise, money and cheesecakes to Ryan Bailey on Twitter.