Stephen A. Smith got sleepy, a woman was determined to ruin a baseball proposal picture, and we have a whole bunch of awful to drop at your virtual doorstep.
Welcome back for another week of annoying tidbits, moments and stories collected for your amusement or frustration.
We leave it up to you which it might be.
In the immortal words of C&C Music Factory, the next few stories will "make you go hmmm." We have an old lady who flipped the bird to ruin a beautiful moment, a ranking of the worst franchises in sports history and so much more.
Of course, this is hardly the ultimate collection from a glorious week of shenanigans, so please help us out with things you need to get off your chest in the comments section below.
If you are going to catch up on some sleep, it's best to do it when Skip Bayless is ranting on about the Jets and Titans.
The Big Lead brought us this wonderful video that shows First Take co-host Stephen A. Smith nodding off. While this is a perfect reminder of why we don't watch the show, we actually have a new-found respect for Smith.
As he later tweeted, he has a touch of the flu, so consider this the sportscaster's magnificent flu game. It's nearly as brilliant as Michael Jordan's.
Kenny Lovelace decided to pop the big question to his girlfriend of four years, Molly Ryan, at last weekend's series between the Rockies and Diamondbacks at Coors Field.
Lovelace even procured the services of photographer Kerinsa Mullins to document the occasion in the stands. Well, what happened next was reported thoroughly by WTOP's Mike Murillo, who spoke with Mullins.
When Lovelace went to ask, Mullins popped up to take a few photos and the older couple behind her started insisting she sit down.
When the photog explained the situation, they merely gave her dirty looks and even provided one visible bird for the Internet to enjoy.
Really, who wants to see the D-Backs and Rockies play in late September anyway? We don't know the exact game they went to, but last Saturday the Rockies dropped the game 7-2 and the next night, they lost 13-9. With both out of the playoff race, they aren't missing much.
I hate when people stand in front of me at baseball games, but I like to think I might make an exception if people's lives are changing behind me.
Really, this story keeps reminding me of this scene from The Princess Bride.
I mean, right?
Beer, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems.
Homer Simpson was onto something there—at least that's what Jacksonville Jaguars ticket sales officials seem to think.
Even blurry, the Jaguars are still hard to watch.
Genoa's youth goalkeeping coach, Luca De Pra, wanted to get the jump on rival Sampdoria's secrets ahead of their clash this weekend, so he hid in the hills overlooking the training pitch.
He was caught.
Here is an excerpt from the best press release of the week.
That the derby is a question of nerve, tactics and strategy we already knew, but frankly we could never expect that it could turn into a scene of espionage.
Like Rambo hidden among the branches on the hill, Luca De Pra, Genoa goalkeeping coach and man of noble footballing ancestry, failed to overcome Sampdoria’s intelligence and counter intelligence operations.
However, no prisoners were taken, and no blood was shed. Once tracked down and caught red-handed, the opposing side’s soldier was let free to return to base. You should always forgive your enemies, as nothing annoys them more.
Genoa disavowed all knowledge of De Pra and his antics, proclaiming he was acting all on his own. Yup, that's exactly what they say in espionage movies.
If watching Trent Richardson walk out the door weren't enough, fans had to suffer through GQ's Rob Tannenbaum's article entitled "The 20 Worst Sports Franchises of All Time."
Yes, it seems like dissecting that would be a tall order. Thankfully he lumped all three franchises (Indians, Browns and Cavaliers) into the top spot on the list.
Now it's up to you Indians to prove him wrong.
The Tribe heads into the weekend with a hold on the second wild-card spot. However, even if they do head off into the postseason, it probably wouldn't do much to erase quite the unenviable stigma.
The National Enquirer's Patricia Shipp has a wacky tale of a cookie caper that went awry in a Nevada prison recently.
It seems O.J. Simpson had a sudden hankering for oatmeal cookies while serving time and tried to steal a dozen from the cafeteria.
Yeah, that didn't work out for him.
According to the report, a guard spotted the massive bulge of cookies in his shirt and confiscated the booty. The best part is other inmates apparently laughed at him the second he was caught.
The Juice has now been relegated to prison laughingstock.