10 Premier League Footballers You'd Love to Go Drinking With
Premier League footballers are professional athletes who are handsomely paid to keep their bodies in peak condition.
As such, they should never imbibe alcohol, but as we know, the temptations that come with being young, rich and popular often lead to messy nights and tabloid splashes.
We are by no means condoning unruly behaviour, but here are 10 Prem players who we would love to grab a beer with...
Paolo Di Canio was vehemently opposed to anyone at Sunderland having a good time—including fans watching the games, apparently—so he didn't get on very well with Phil Bardsley.
In May, the Scottish defender was pictured laying on the floor of a nightclub covered in £50 notes. Di Canio vowed never to play him again, and Bardsley's case wasn't helped when he seemed to mock the Black Cats' opening day defeat on Instagram.
Now that Di Canio has been consigned to the Wearside scrapheap, Bardsley will be much better company on a night out. James Bond might be able to teach him a thing or two about casino etiquette, but he appears to be a lucky man to accompany at the tables.
A man comfortable enough in his own skin to sport a Sideshow Bob haircut is always going to be good value during a night on the beers.
Chelsea's David Luiz is an extremely affable character, even if he does evoke Miley Cyrus by constantly sticking out his tongue.
The banter-loving Brazilian might also be a cheap date—if the post-Champions League clip above is to be believed, alcohol goes to his head very quickly.
In a game that takes itself far too seriously far too often, it's always good to see a player who doesn't mind poking fun at himself.
Peter Crouch has no qualms about doing something a little silly if he thinks he will get a laugh.
The lanky Stoke striker is also partial to a night on the tiles: As you can see above, he performed his "robot" celebration in Ibiza this summer. He's the kind of guy who keeps dancing through the sunroof of the car on the way home from a night out.
Go for a beer with Crouchy, and it won't be a quiet one.
Over the years, fiery Welshman Craig Bellamy has been arrested for assault several times after getting a little carried away on a night out, and no one wants to accompany an angry drunk through the streets of Cardiff in the early hours.
However, provided you can limit his alcohol intake to a few swift pints, Craig Bellamy would make for good company. Not only does he like a cheeky joke—like the one at the referee's expense above—but he also has a very compassionate side.
The Cardiff captain has his own charity foundation based in Sierra Leone, which he visits most summers and personally staffs.
Based on national stereotypes, one wouldn't expect a member of the German football team to have a good sense of humour, but Arsenal's Lukas Podolski is always game for a laugh.
As a Pole who grew up in Germany, Poldi has the genes and experience to be an excellent drinker. What's more, since Ray Parlour has taught him how to speak cockney, the striker could comfortably get a round in at a Holloway Road boozer.
If you're looking to split a case of Brahma in North London, you could do far worse than Sandro for a drinking buddy.
The Tottenham midfielder is, quite simply, as mad as a box of frogs. He stands on his chair and sings during dinner, he rocks the guitar and terrifies his teammates with his martial arts moves in the dressing room.
If you could get the zany 24-year-old to sit down long enough to actually drink a whole beer, you will have achieved something.
In reality, a night out in Southampton with goalkeeper Artur Boruc would probably end with the angry Pole punching a bouncer, flipping a car over and diving off the docks into the water because a fish looked at him funny. Yet it would be pretty entertaining to see it all unfold.
In 2008, Boruc evoked controversy for the 1,078th time in his career when he was spotted drinking and smoking in Poland while recuperating from an injury. Rather than berate him, his Celtic boss Gordon Strachan told the press that "it might be nice if he did have a beer now and then - it might just loosen him up a wee bit." (h/t Daily Mail)
Therefore if you take Boruc out, you might just be doing Mauricio Pochettino a favour.
Another man with anger issues at St Mary's is new striker Pablo Osvaldo, whose record of nine red cards in the past six seasons suggests he could do with having a nice relaxing drink.
The Argentinean-born Italian forward once admitted in the Italian press that he has a "horrible personality," which probably doesn't work in his favour as a drinking buddy.
But on the plus side, he looks so much like Johnny Depp that you would be able to spend the whole night getting your glass topped up for free at just about any exclusive bar in the world.
According to Pepe Reina's conversation with Liverpoolfc.tv (h/t LFChistory.net), Liverpool centre-back Daniel Agger is quite shy and reserved away from the field.
But after a drink or two, you would certainly be able to prise out his humble personality, particularly if you steer the subject towards his favourite subject: tattoos.
A few too many shandies, however, and you might have a "drunken rampage" on your hands, such as the one he indulged in with alleged footballer Nicklas Bendtner.
Ian Holloway isn't strictly a player anymore—and he might not even be a manager for that much longer—but he is by far the most ideal drinking buddy in the Premier League. It's not even debatable.
He always speaks his mind, he is downright hilarious and if you get him merry enough, he might even perform a merry jig for you.