Sunday night brought WWE fans the eleventh annual Judgment Day pay-per-view event, featuring a stacked card with three main events. Was justice served?
No Way Out 2009: 2/5: .400
All-Time: 11/18: 0.611
CM Punk vs Umaga
The Samoan Bulldozer takes on the 2009 Money in the Bank winner CM Punk to kick off Judgment Day. Punk comes out to the ring to a pretty decent pop from the 14,822 hometown Chicago fans in attendance.
The match was pretty much one-sided, with Punk getting manhandled and desperately trying to land a random strike or two. It was reminiscent of a standard Rey Mysterio match, but far more believable (no 619s here, folks).
In one pretty ‘old-school’ spot, Punk attempted to scoop slam Umaga, and Umaga fell on top of Punk for a two-count. It reminded me of the Legends of WrestleMania game, if you try to scoop Andre as Hulk when you don’t have a level 3 chain. (You would have to have played it…)
Punk’s downfall comes as the result of a failed Go-2-Sleep attempt, leading to an absolute one-two-three MAULING by Umaga. Samoan Spike, 1, 2, 3.
My Pick: CM Punk
Judgment Day 2009: 0/1: .000
All-Time: 11/19: 0.579
ECW Championship: Christian (c) vs Jack Swagger
This match was decent, and had the illusion of being a ‘big match’ because the names were announced after both competitors were in the ring. I think the “Peeps” were on a beer or bathroom run, because there was a lot of dead air during the match. I like where they are going with the angle, though.
Christian wrestles like a veteran who knows how to get out of certain situations. If Swagger cheats, it’s because he’s a heel. If Christian cheats, he’s still a face; it’s because he has that veteran edge. So a heel versus a ‘face who acts like a heel’ is an interesting concept and feels fresh.
It for some reason reminds me of the Matt Hardy/MVP odd-couple from last year. Decent match; Christian wins with a handful of tights and a roll-up.
My Pick: Jack Swagger
Judgment Day 2009: 0/2: .000
All-Time: 11/20: 0.550
John Morrison vs Shelton Benjamin (w/Charlie Haas)
Disclaimer: I am a huge John Morrison fan, so excuse the bias. However, I legitimately blurted out “HOLY SHIT!” when Morrison pulled off what I call a “springboard 450 Double Ax-Handle Smash” from the top rope to the outside.
Shortly after that, the fans followed suit with a ‘holy shit’ chant. Another bright spot of the match was a head-scissors into a side russian legsweep. I can’t say I’ve ever seen that done before.
Winner: John Morrison with that crazy split-legged corkscrew moonsault, “Starship Pain.”
My Pick: Shelton Benjamin. But I am proud to be wrong.
Judgment Day 2009: 0/3: .000
All-Time: 11/21: 0.524
Unannounced Verbal Match-Up: The Miz vs. John Morrison / John Cena / Chicago / Chicago Cubs / Alfonoso Soriano / Santino Marella?
The Miz struts down to the ring, and congratulates Marty Janetty–ah, he meant John Morrison. He really said Marty Janetty, and I laughed pretty loudly at that one.
Miz said Vickie Guerrero looks like a pig, and Vladmir Kozlov looks like Sam the Eagle, with side-by-side pictures shown on the video screen. Hilarious. Miz called out Cena again, trash-talked Chicago, and challenged Alfonso Soriano to be Cena’s replacement.
In the runner-up to the quote of the night, Miz told Soriano, “You can’t see…a World Series ring as long as you play for the Cubs.” Soriano just stood there with no reaction whatsoever. I hope he didn’t get paid for that appearance.
People say acting in wrestling is bad, but Alfonso Soriano’s acting in the wrestling world is even worse.
Santino Marella’s music hits and confuses the hell out of pretty much everyone. Marella claims he came out to defend Sorrrrrrrrriano, because he is a fellow Italian (ha ha ha). Then, he delivers the line of the night:
“I hope you brought a metal detector.”
“I brought some guns,” (tears rip-away sleeves off of his shirt) “and I’m not afraid to use them.”
Miz hits a killer DDT on Santino, reminiscent of Raven’s Evenflow DDT, but it’s not over yet. Chavo runs to the ring and hits a frog splash on Miz for insulting Vickie.
This whole angle was the one of the funniest and most well-delivered promo I have seen in a while. It also opens up doors for many fresh feuds we have never seen before: Miz vs. Morrison, Miz vs. Cena, Miz vs. Santino (as a face?), and Chavo vs. Santino (face).
Intercontinental Championship: Rey Mysterio (c) vs Chris Jericho
This was as good as a modern Rey Mysterio match can be, which is still good, but you can predict every spot and it’s pretty unbelievable.
However, as I stated in my predictions, Chris Jericho makes this mid-card match feel as if it were headlining the show. Jericho fails to set a nine-time title reign record and Rey Mysterio stays undefeated at Judgment Day events (4-0).
Winner: Rey Mysterio
My Pick: Rey Mysterio
Judgment Day 2009: 1/4: .250
All-Time: 12/21: 0.571
WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs Batista
I had a difficult time even paying attention to this match. I find it funny that the WWE Championship is the most prestigious belt in the business, yet rarely seems to headline the pay-per-views. That sure tells you a lot about Edge, I guess.
Batista’s stupid posing during his entrance wasn’t in sync with the pyro, so it looked goofy. As goofy as a guy squatting pretending to shoot a machine gun (if that’s what he’s doing) can look.
Boring match, but Orton does a good job drawing in the cheap heel heat every chance he gets. Eventually, Legacy runs in and gives Batista the win via disqualification. Then, Ric Flair runs to the ring and cleans house. I told you, you couldn’t pay me to watch Raw.
Raw’s main event faction just got wiped out by a sixty-year-old. Good riddance. Maybe the next match will bet–no, it won’t.
Winner: Batista by DQ
My Pick: Randy Orton
Judgment Day 2009: 1/5: .200
All-Time: 12/22: 0.545
John Cena vs Big Show
I really thought WWE would finally throw a bone to the best big man in the business, but no. Cena oversells a rib injury through the entire match, yet he can miraculously attempt his goofy-looking flying ax handle attack and lift Show for an Attitude Adjustment.
The announcers called it a ‘miracle win.’ How is it a miracle when he wins nearly every pay-per-view match in which he’s booked? It would be a miracle for..ah, what’s the use. Just don’t watch Raw.
Winner: Super Cena
My Pick: Big Show
Judgment Day 2009: 1/6: .167
All-Time: 12/23: 0.522
World Heavyweight Championship: Edge (c) vs Jeff Hardy
I’m a big fan of Edge, and he always delivers. There were a few interesting spots in this match. It wasn’t amazing but it was a solid main event. It was your typical Edge main event: tons of near falls. And, it was your typical Jeff Hardy main event, with random, crazy, and exciting (but sloppy) spots.
I noticed Jeff was wearing a necklace that had a bit of a sharp point on it. I’m not so sure that’s a good idea, one of these days he’s going to mess up a spot and get stabbed in the jugular by his own necklace.
In one pretty predictable but still exciting spot, Hardy ran across the barricade into a spear from Edge that dropped “seven feet to the floor.” OK, Jim Ross. Edge retains with some help from Matt Hardy’s cast. TOP ROPE IMPALER DDT.
Judgment Day 2009: 2/7: .286
All-Time: 13/24: 0.542
Well, I’m above .500. Overall this was a pretty solid pay-per-view. The undercard stole the show for the most part, but that makes for a great pay-per-view. No one wants to have an event with a bunch of filler and a decent/good main event.
There’s a name for that: Raw.