Dear Fans, Stop Getting Athletes Carved into Your Head
At the very least, these atrocities are only temporary. We can all take solace in that.
Fans do crazy things. It's in their DNA. They need a way to unleash the passion. Some of them do it by streaking across the field or accosting their favorite athletes in public. Others opt to tattoo themselves with declarations of their affection.
The select few in this category are far more creative. They chose to carve the likenesses of their favorite athletes into their hair. Unfortunately, unlike tattoos, you can't cover these up.
Obviously, some forms of creativity were never meant to see the light of day.
Dishonorable Mention: Boston Bruins
At least the rest of the people on this list restricted their artistic expression to their heads.
But in this guy's defense, at least his atrocity can be covered up with a shirt.
One particularly enthusiastic Boston Bruins fan chose to celebrate the team's 2011 Stanley Cup victory in an unusual way—and he also made use of his bountiful back hair to do so.
Obviously, when your struggling team acquires one of the brightest talents in the NBA, it is your right as a fan to be excited.
This fan got too excited. When he heard that the Houston Rockets had traded for then-reigning Sixth Man of the Year James Harden, he jumped in the car, went to his local barber shop and demanded that Harden's face be carved into the back of his head (see the big version here).
This is what he got. Serves him right. That creation looks like a bearded Anthony Davis.
If you're going to carve an athlete's face into your hair, at least make sure it's one of the greatest athletes in the history of mankind.
At least this guy has that going for him.
San Antonio hair artist Joe Barber is infamous for engraving the likenesses of athletes into the heads of his clients. To his credit, his creations actually resemble the athletes they're supposed to be, which is more than plenty of his fellow "artists" can say for themselves.
Check out the complete "montage of The Ringleader," as Joe calls it, in the video above.
Why anyone would want Johnny Manziel's face engraved into his or her scalp is beyond me. If you're going to carve someone's face into your head, at least make it someone who is bound to think it's funny.
It's doubtful that Johnny Manziel would appreciate this gesture in the least.
Last November, high school student Christian Chavez paid a visit to barber Rob "The Original" Ferrel and came out with Johnny Football on his head. When he went to school the next day, the administrators were not amused and demanded he go home and return only after head was Manziel-less, according to ESPN.com.
Instead, Chavez transferred to a different school. Now that, Manziel would approve of.
After the way Colin Kaepernick has started the 2013 season, this dude has to regret this decision.
Though the San Francisco 49ers got off to such a promising start to the season with a 34-28 win over the Packers, they have not had such good fortune in recent weeks. The vaunted Niners offense has scored 10 points over the last two weeks and finds itself in a 1-2 hole.
Too bad for this fan, who had Kaepernick's face carved into his scalp in early September.
This artistic creation does not look like Lionel Messi. It looks like a poor imitation of an anime character.
We all know soccer fans are an excitable bunch and will do virtually anything to prove themselves to be the most diehard fans of all. This kid wins, in a landslide.
This unnamed Lionel Messi worshipper wanted his hero's face on his head. Sadly, it's always a bad sign when you need the athlete's name to be carved along with his face. Otherwise, how would anyone know who it's supposed to be?
It is somewhat shocking that every Baltimore Ravens fan has not, at some point, carved Ray Lewis' face into his or her hair, but alas, this kid is apparently a trendsetter.
Prior to Lewis' pre-retirement Super Bowl victory last February, he was celebrated by at least one of his fans in a very special way. The infamous Joe Barber created this work of art on a fan's head, adding the unnecessary number 52 because really, who cannot tell that that is Ray Lewis?
Somewhat terrifying, yes, but accurate, nonetheless.
As they have done with many of the world's premiere athletes, fans have found creative new ways to show their appreciation for Kobe Bryant.
Some have resorted to declarations of Twitter love. Others have gone with tattoos. This special friend put Kobe right on his head.
Just as the Lakers' throne began its inevitable decline in May 2012, one Lakers fan chose to have this image inscribed on his noggin. Unfortunately, it looks nothing like Kobe Bryant.
Why would anyone want Mike Napoli's face on his or her head?
If you're only a casual baseball fan, and Mike Napoli has never played for your team, you probably have no idea who he is. If you saw his face carved into someone's hair, you would certainly have no idea who he was.
Also, bro, Mike Napoli played for the Rangers for two seasons. It's not like he was the face of the team. There was literally no reason to put his face on your head.
At the very least, Manu Ginobili is recognizable. If you just saw this random fan on the street, you would probably recognize the strange man carved into his hair.
And at least Manu Ginobili has been a part of three championship teams. He deserves the honor of having his likeness carved into a fan's hair.
Still, it's hard to imagine how anyone could get to a point where he loves Ginobili to such an extent that he wants the Spurs guard's face on his head. How do you get to that point?
The award for the most horrendous attempt at carving an athlete's face into someone else's hair goes to whoever created this monstrosity.
This does not look like Stephen Curry. This creation resembles Kevin Love more than it resembles Stephen Curry. Just to clarify, those two people do not look alike.
Fortunately, the fan who asked for this doesn't have to look at it. Pity for all of those who have the distinct displeasure of ever sitting or standing behind him.
Also, Robert Littal brings up a great point: Pretty much the best way to guarantee that zero females will ever want to talk to you is to get another man's face carved into your hair.
There is the person who wanted Mike Napoli's face on the back of his head. Then, light-years beyond that person, is the person who wanted Matt Bonner's face on the back of his head.
We can cut this kid a break because he's only 12. When I was 12, I worshipped John Beerbohm. Most likely, this kid's fandom has not yet been fully developed. Also, this fan has red hair, so the Matt Bonner image works surprisingly well on him.
Still, though. When you're at the point where you're carving the faces of power forwards who average three rebounds per game into your head, you probably should be suspended from school.
Like his friend who couldn't live without Manu Ginobili's face carved into the back of his head, this diehard Spurs fan could not go another day without engraving his own noggin with the likeness of Tony Parker.
You really have to give Rob the Original some credit. He put his all into this haircut, and shockingly, it really does look like Tony Parker. You can't appreciate this haircut with just a photo. You need a video camera so you can get the full, 360-degree experience.
You also have to give this fan some credit: He wasn't just giving some scrub the honor of having his face carved into his hair. He was celebrating an NBA Finals MVP.
But still. That barely makes it OK.
Like the new article format? Send us feedback!