Welcome to The Onion Bag, your bi-weekly look at the weird and wonderful stories from world football in the past few days.
First up, we take a look at Gareth Bale's first visit to his new office, the Ciudad Real Madrid. Cristiano Ronaldo welcomed him in the now-famous €194 million car park photo, but it didn't take long before the Portuguese star was putting in hard tackles on his left wing rival.
Manchester City fans stood up to rip-off ticket prices on their trip to the Emirates last year, but they're being stung even harder for next week's trip to Viktoria Plzen. How many Citizens will be checking out the Czech Republic at those prices?
This week also saw Steve Harper's Newcastle Utd testimonial, an event which was overshadowed by Joey Barton's rough treatment of 45-year-old Sunderland manager Paolo Di Canio.
Meanwhile, former Milan legend Andriy Shevchenko is a professional golfer now. His first day on the tour wasn't a great success.
And finally, we look at the celebrations in Afghanistan as they won their first ever major title. It was raining bullets in Kabul as locals gleefully fired AK-47s into the night sky.
Check out the show and leave your comments below.
Like the new article format? Send us feedback!