Recently appointed Newcastle United director of football Joe Kinnear is an amusing man. Amusing for the rest of us—not so much for Magpies fans, it seems.
Here's a snapshot of some of Joe's finest moments since joining the Toon, as provided by Bleacher Report's Charles Lawley (with help from The Guardian).
I'm probably the only football manager to be a director of football. I don't know any other ex-managers who have.
There have been loads.
I've won every award there is in football as a player.
I've never been sacked in my life.
I had over 400 games for Tottenham Hotspur.
He hadn't. He had 258.
[I have] been Manager of the Year three times.
He hasn't. He's been Manager of the Year once.
I thought I'd done an excellent job there [during his spell as Newcastle Untied manager] and no way would we have gone down.
With their win-per-games ratio, they would have gone down.
I bought Dean Holdsworth for 50 grand.
I sold Robbie Earle for x, y, z.
Robbie Earle—whom he didn't buy—left Wimbledon after Kinnear did.
I sold Marcus Gayle, Leonhardsen, Micky Harford, John Hartson, Hans Segers, most of them were free transfers.
Segers might have been a free transfer. The others were not.
I brought Krul to the club and I think he's a terrific goalkeeper.
Krul was at Newcastle United three years before Kinnear was.
Derek Llambezee was the director of football.
Derek Llambias was the managing director.
Shola Amamobi is getting better and better, he's a young kid.
I'm lending my experience as a manager for all those years—10 years at Wimbledon, two years at Nottingham Forest, two years winning promotion at Luton and, of course, almost two years at Newcastle.
He spent seven years at Wimbledon, less than a year at Forest and five months at Newcastle. He did spend two years at Luton Town and won promotion.
But only after getting them relegated.