I'm sorry to disappoint you, but this is not going to be Texas football coach Mack Brown talking.
Instead, a Brown impersonator called in to The Orange Report with Big Mike (@MBHORNSFAN) on Horns Sports Radio. The show, airing weekly on Wednesday, has a segment called "Mack on a Mobile" in which listeners are blessed by the opinions and the voice of fake Mack Brown.
You'll definitely want to run this by your friends as a prank because the impersonator has the Brown accent and voice "down to a T." What pushes the parody over the top is the word pronunciation and sentence structuring of the fake coach.
Here are some of the highlights from fake Mack:
On the setting of Darrell K. Royal-Texas Memorial Stadium:
There were clear blue skies, 98 degrees, the Longhorn band. You've got Bevo asleep on his blanket, in the south end zone. We have our great fans packing the stands that was over three-fourths full. And, a national television audience in the thousands; possibly tens of thousands with the addition of Time Warner Cable watching on the Longhorn Network.
On the score of the game:
We thought it would be fitting in honor of the 1963 National Championship team to keep the game low scoring because they won so many games by a score of 7-6 back in the day. And, after New Mexico State scored, Major (Applewhite) told me enough of this nonsense, we're setting a school record for total offense tonight, and the baby face assassin did just that.
On the "freshman testing" of the airport:
You know, everything went pretty well until Mad Dog (Madden) found the Cinnabon stand. And, you know, bless his heart, we can not go anywhere without Mad Dog stopping to eat. But the last thing we want is him pouting in his seat on the plane because we didn't let him have the cinnamon roll and the 32-ounce glass of chocolate milk.
On what super hero he would be:
I'd have to say wolverine. Mostly because Sally (Brown) has told me more than once on how good looking Hugh Jackman is. I don't think the Invisible Man was a super hero, but I've often wished that I could be invisible.
On the experience of playing BYU:
The term tailgating does not hit home to Provo. They enjoy a Sierra Mist and a bag of Skittles before entering the stadium to get their mind right. And, you know, the really brave ones will have a Mountain Dew, caffeine free of course.
Of course, it's all fun and games, and the real Brown wouldn't say any of this. Now for a quick comparison and refresher of the real Brown, check out what he actually says about the BYU setting in the video embedded below.
A little different approach by the real Brown addressing BYU, but nonetheless, no shots were truly fired at the opposition. Hopefully, no major media outlets will pick up on "Mack on a Mobile" mistaking it for the real coach. For another classic impersonation from fake Mack, click here.
If you enjoyed this segment from the show, be sure listen Wednesday nights at 8:00 pm here.
Also, make sure to follow @MackBonaMobile for updates on the parody.