Some of the things that happened this week were like a figurative dirty diaper launched onto the field, which actually happened, by the way. Yes, a diaper made its way onto the pitch in Peru, an umpire got handsy in Taiwan and bunch of other annoying things took place that we shall discuss right now.
We have had yet another week of absurdly awful moments that demand we wrap them up and tie a little bow on them, delivering them to the Internet like a white elephant gift.
Of course, we may have missed some hilariously bad items, so feel free to correct that below. And with that, we shall plunge deep into the unsavory recesses of sport.
101 Great Goals reports that there were things far more disgusting than batteries and rocks being thrown onto the pitch.
In a game between Peruvian clubs Real Garcilaso and Alianza Lima, a dirty diaper got tossed at the opposing goalkeeper.
There it is, folks. We have now reached the bottom of the barrel.
Mia Watkins of AL.com reports on 2013 Miss Alabama, Chandler Champion, who has decided to show school pride by wearing this dress to the Miss America pageant's "Show Us Your Shoes" parade on Sept. 14.
Why stop with the Roll Tide theme? She should just glue some trophies to that audacious dress to make it complete.
And she may as well wear some shoes with a huge "A" on them. What? She will? Actually, those are rather nice.
The Big Lead brings us the latest captivating video from the Chinese Professional Baseball League. In a game that featured Manny Ramirez's former EDA Rhinos, a manager and umpire get into a little spat.
"Spat" might not do this justice, because the umpire decides to grab the manager's throat after he was bumped in the chest.
Having overzealous umpires who love to escalate altercations seems to be a worldwide phenomena at the moment.
The worst part of rooting for a lost cause isn't the emotional stress or depression that follows. It's that you are getting fat.
The Chicago Tribune spoke with Professor Pierre Chandon of the INSEAD business school, who has a rather interesting study about eating habits after football games.
Per his study, "Americans eat 16 percent more saturated fat, and 10 percent more calories" when they see their team suffer a loss.
But it's all salads and lean meat when their team wins: "They eat more healthily. They eat 9 percent less saturated fat, and 5 percent fewer calories."
This might explain my gut after following the Rams most of my life.
Peyton Manning was so amazing Thursday night that he made time travel possible.
Scott Gorslene tweeted out this image of the Columbus Dispatch on Friday morning, featuring a headline that states that John Elway, a very retired quarterback, threw seven touchdowns.
While we all assume that was Manning under center and not the Broncos' current executive vice president, the image still went viral.
Busted Coverage notes the gaffe even leaked into the second paragraph. Essentially, someone had Elway on the noggin when writing this.
To be fair, Manning was so amazing he roughly did the work of two legendary quarterbacks.
We all mess up spelling every now and again, but rarely does that gaffe make its way onto 50-ounce cups.
ESPN reports Notre Dame will remedy the cups boasting the "Figthing Irish" given out recently. We say why mess with a hilarious thing?
Chin up, Notre Dame. There have been so many spelling errors in sports. You just happen to be the most recent, so hurray or something.