Never grab a man's throat, even if he bumps you with his chest. All of this and many more life lessons in this edition of "What's up with the CPBL?"
Last time we checked in with those wacky ballplayers from the Chinese Professional Baseball League, they were saying their fond farewells to Manny Ramirez.
We take you to the bottom of the fourth inning of a 4-2 game between the EDA Rhinos, Ramirez's former team, and the Brother Elephants.
The Rhinos pitcher delivers a ball but is apparently called for a balk—at least that's what we assume from the umpire's gesture.
The pitcher is flummoxed as to what he did, and his skipper comes out to argue. That's when this video goes from an unfortunate call for a creative delivery to an all-out umpire-on-manager fracas.
It all starts with a nice little powwow among the English-speaking umpire, the translator and an irate manager. The latter isn't satisfied with how things are going, so he decides to bump the umpire's chest, and that's when egregious throat-grabbing occurs.
First off, never grab a man's neck. It's overtly threatening and emasculating, and it will just lead to a brouhaha you might not be prepared to handle.
Second, the umpire seems to have missed a few steps here. If anything, it should go chest bump, shove, counter shove and then maybe a neck grab.
Still, you would think there would be a face slap or a "seriously, I'm going to grab your neck if you continue" warning in there somewhere.
Instead, the ump goes for the throat, and a near donnybrook breaks out.
Finally, we get back to some actual baseball and have evidence that umpires are horrible pretty much everywhere in the world.
Somehow, that's very comforting.
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